EPISODE 3 TRANSCRIPT

0:00:00.3 Roan Parrish: Relationship on the rocks?

 

0:00:02.6 Xio Axelrod: Crushing on your best friend?

 

0:00:04.8 Avery Flynn: Not sure how to tell your partner a secret?

 

0:00:07.8 RP: Luckily, you found Dear Romance Writer, an advice podcast from people who write happily ever afters for a living.

 

0:00:14.8 XA: We are Xio Axelrod...

 

0:00:16.6 AF: Avery Flynn...

 

0:00:18.6 RP: And Roan Parrish.

 

0:00:20.5 XA: You have questions...

 

0:00:21.6 AF: And we have questionable answers.

 

0:00:24.2 RP: Let's get to it.

 

[music]

 

0:00:38.6 XA: Okay, so today's first letter is from Widow49Frankfurt: "My husband committed suicide in 2018, and I'm 49 years old now. I feel too young to stay alone, but I've never been the best at flirting in my 20s when I was young and my body was fine. Now I'm well into my middle age with too many pounds and a need for progressive lenses, and I dread first dates and the awkward conversations involved. Am I doomed?" Oh, I just wanna hug this person.

 

0:01:10.1 RP: I know.

 

0:01:11.3 XA: Oh my gosh, no, it's... No, no, you're not doomed. Let's just start there.

 

0:01:16.7 AF: We can... Yeah.

 

0:01:17.8 XA: Let's just start there. Actually, I have a friend who was in a similar situation not too long ago. She lost her husband and they were married I think for 40 years, something like that, almost 40 years, and she was in her late 50s. And yeah, it was devastating. It happened really quickly, and it was just heartbreaking, and she went through a similar thing, like, "Is that it? That was my love, that was the love of my life, that was my love story. Am I just now going to be alone? My kids are all... " She was empty nester, her kids were married and gone with kids of their own, and she went... I forget where she went, to some sort of event that she didn't really wanna go to, I think it was somebody's dinner party or something she went to, they dragged her out, and she met this guy, [chuckle] and the guy was completely smitten with her, and I remember the first time she told us about him, she was like, "Oh, it was so awkward to have someone look at me that way who wasn't my husband, and oh, I don't know, I just... I don't think... Whatever." And we were like, "No, it was really cool. You still got it." 'Cause she's beautiful.

 

[chuckle]

 

0:02:24.9 XA: And then the next time she told us about it, she was like, "Well, you know, we decided to go out for coffee," and we're like we were all trying to encourage her without being... But now they're married. Long story short, and they got married. And she was like, "Lightning struck twice." You never know. It's a heartbreaking situation. I can't even imagine losing someone like that, but you still have love to give, you still have life, you still have things to experience and enjoy, and if you can find someone to do that with, then I say go for it. You are not doomed. You are not destined to be alone. Don't think that way, please. Oh my gosh, I just wanna hug this person so much right now. [chuckle]

 

0:03:06.8 AF: Absolutely.

 

0:03:07.6 XA: I'm just hugging myself because I wanna reach out and hug them.

 

0:03:12.5 AF: Well, and unless you are going to go date, I don't know, someone hot... Somebody named somebody like super young and hot... I don't know... Is Zac Efron still young? I think he's still super young.

 

0:03:25.8 XA: Sure. [chuckle]

 

0:03:25.9 AF: He's young to me. I feel awkward looking at him and going, "Oh my God, biceps." So I would say the people that you are going to be dating are more than likely in a similar boat than you are, and self-esteem can be just such a bitch no matter what age you're at, and I think probably looking back if you were to think about it, your 20 some self, when you had your banging body, you probably looked at it and said, "I wish I could fix that, and I wish I could fix that." And it's just at this point in time, that's in the past so you don't remember. I would... People who have kids and then forget how horrible labor/infancy is when you can't sleep, ever, you block that shit out. So I would say, number one, when it comes to the physicality part of it, number one, be nice to yourself, okay?

 

0:04:30.7 XA: Yes.

 

0:04:31.1 AF: Be nice to our friend. So that's number one. Number two, know that you're not the only person going into this type of situation who has that. The people that you're meeting also probably will be feeling a little bit of insecurity. And then three, I would say, oh my goodness, find those things about yourself, especially when it comes to the physicality part of things, find those parts where you are like, "I like that."

 

0:05:01.6 XA: Yeah. Fall in love with yourself.

 

0:05:03.1 AF: Find those things that you like, and tell yourself again and again that you like them because you have to up-talk. I'm a fan of up-talk. Up-talk yourself when you need to so that you are being kind to your friend. That's not ego, that's a personal pep talk. Give yourself those personal pep talks, so...

 

0:05:23.9 XA: Be your own cheerleader.

 

0:05:24.3 AF: In addition to that Xio said, because she hit it right on the head, when it comes to those superficial parts that make you nervous, relax a little.

 

0:05:35.4 XA: It's like the earlier episode we had where Roan was talking about falling in love with yourself, dating yourself. I think that comes into play here too, because being alone so suddenly like that, you're rediscovering yourself, rediscovering what you like, what turns you on, all that stuff. Don't be afraid to do that. And isn't there a service for people over a certain age, like a dating site or something? I forget what it's called. Like Our Time or something like that. It's something for people who are later in life looking for love at first or second or third time, or whenever really.

 

0:06:11.9 RP: Yeah, and that's what I was gonna suggest as well. I really agree with what you both said, and I think that one of the things that is so useful to remember is that even though you've had this terrible loss, you're coming into dating now with this super power which is that you know what you want in a relationship, you know what you need, you probably know the things that you don't want, the things that you compromised on before but wouldn't now, and I think that that is such an extreme place of strength to be entering the dating pool from actually.

 

0:06:45.1 XA: Yeah, good point.

 

0:06:46.6 RP: And I would imagine that at this point in your life too, you have the advantage of having not... Of not being willing to put up with the kind of bullshit that can skew the starts of relationships.

 

0:07:02.1 XA: Yeah. [chuckle]

 

0:07:03.3 RP: I would hope that at this point you're kind of like, "I only have so much time to spend on other people, and it would be great if some of that time could result in having a partner in crime, but I'm not gonna put up with the, I don't know, silly posturing that goes along with so much of dating," which means that you're gonna naturally attract people who feel the same way. So if you're being yourself on a date, or chatting on a dating site, or on a message board or something, you're gonna be putting out this like, "Yeah, I don't have time for that, because I just had however many years of a relationship where I didn't have to put up with that shit." And that vibe is gonna attract other people who are like that. And maybe those will be other people who've suffered a loss in marriage, so they can really know where you're coming from. I don't think it's like you have to date another widow or widower, but it would be... You would have the advantage then of being connected with someone who knows probably that your husband is still a real big part of your life, a big part of your memories, a big part of the past you that you would bring to a relationship, and if someone knew that, because they were probably experiencing the same thing, then that would help you to make an instant connection or understanding about those things. But even if it wasn't a widow or a widower, if it was just someone who...

 

0:08:33.6 XA: Can be divorced.

 

0:08:34.2 RP: Is starting over at this point in life... That's the best way to date, is no bullshit, no posturing. Honestly, your... People look gorgeous no matter how many... At whatever weight, or body size, or age, it really is just all about knowing yourself and knowing what you want and believing that you deserve it.

 

0:09:00.9 AF: Amen. Do that pep talk. [chuckle] Do that. Yeah, that pep talk that she just gave you, do that one. Do that one.

 

0:09:07.8 RP: And I do think that as we've said in other episodes, one of the best ways of meeting other people who are like-minded I think maybe isn't dating sites so much as engaging really enthusiastically in activities that you love and enjoy and trying to find other people who are enthusiastic about those things. So if you're an avid gardener, or if you love yachting, I don't know what people do, croquet.

 

0:09:32.5 XA: Painting classes and all kinds of stuff, yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

0:09:35.8 RP: Yeah, join a club, join an online chat room for that thing, find... Or if you love movies, find a group on Facebook, or on Reddit or something where people do watch parties. And even if you're not falling in love right away, if you can build up a network of people who you can spend your time with, then you go some distance to replacing the social network that maybe you lost when you lost your husband, and that is advantageous in its own right.

 

0:10:08.4 XA: Yeah. True.

 

0:10:10.8 AF: All right, so our second letter of this episode is from second fiddle to non-fiction. "I really I'm in a pickle, and I think you are just the person to help me out... " And by the way, on an editorial note, our second fiddle uses a lot of exclamation points, and I just wanna say I love that. Thank you for the exclamation points.

 

[chuckle]

 

0:10:35.7 AF: All right, starting again, "I really I'm in a pickle, and I think you're just the person to help me out. My partner of a little more than a year is a writer and is really good at it. She is so disciplined at her craft she inspires me to take my own art more seriously. For these past few months as a deadline looms, this has meant that in order to be present in her work she starts writing early and has to go far away emotionally. She becomes cold and distant and seems to forget the usual sweet and light tone of our collaboration. At home, her chilly cloak takes a bit of time to thaw before we are able to reconvene emotionally. I want to be supportive, but I am worried that If I don't say something about how this process flux with my insecure attachment, the weight of my anxiety will overwhelm the foundation we have built. I also worry that saying more than what I have in passing to her about it, I will come across as unsupportive of her process. Got any tips? Thanks."

 

0:11:35.0 XA: Oh, that's a tough one.

 

0:11:38.7 AF: Second fiddle, number one, up-talk yourself with your name.

 

[laughter]

 

0:11:42.4 XA: Great.

 

0:11:46.9 AF: But I would just like to start off by saying what stuck out to me in this letter a lot was the line where she says, "The weight of my anxiety will overwhelm the foundation we have built." I would just simply say to second fiddle that, number one, don't discount your own anxiety. Just because you're anxious about something does not mean that it doesn't have an impact, or it's not real, or it should be pushed aside. You can't shun your own needs because of that. I think what may be helpful, especially if you guys are both writers, is to be able to take a moment, write down what is emotionally occurring with you with your partner's process. So, "I accept that this is your process, but please know that this process hurts me because... And is there a middle ground that we can come to for this?" Being able to do that in a neutral way, as opposed to talking, especially if you're already anxious about it, that can help with approaching, and I would also say try and...

 

0:13:08.0 AF: I mean, I know you probably feel this a lot during... The point in their process when they are emotionally withdrawn from you. If possible, if you have to hold on to that letter for a little bit, hold on to it and provide that to them at a point in time when they are not in the middle of that point in their process. Because more than likely, your partner would be a lot more open to hearing this when they are outside of that emotionally withdrawn area.

 

0:13:40.7 XA: Creative process is an individual thing. And I think... I studied, I was an actress for a minute, and I knew a lot of method actors who would completely disappear into the roles that they took, no matter how dark they were. [chuckle] And they would be different people. Even at lunch or whatever, they'd just be completely different people and you're like, "Whoa! That's like... " You're like, "Oh, that's so method, that's so... " But I never thought about how it affected the people that they were with, or their family or friends, or whatever until I got older. And it's, as a creator, you want to immerse yourself in your creation, but you have to be mindful of how it affects you in your real life. So I think it's a valid thing that you want to discuss this, how it affects you, how her creative process affects you.

 

0:14:32.5 XA: And I think, like Avery said, that's a discussion to have when they're not in the middle of creating something. [chuckle] So that if they're open and light like you're used to them being when they're not creating, then definitely approach them in that place and say, "Hey, you know what? Let's open a bottle of wine tonight, and I wanna talk about our creative processes." Because you said that you take your own art... It takes your own art more seriously, which she does. I don't know if you're a writer, or an artist, or whatever it is, but you can still talk about the creative process. You can say, "Hey, this is what I do. And I noticed you kind of disappear into your work. [chuckle] Did you know that when you do that, this is how it affects me?" And if you approach it in a way that's not accusatory or I don't know, you know what I mean. If you approach it in a conversational way and just say, "Hey, maybe we could... Just let me know. And be aware of how you're affecting me or maybe somebody else in their life, as well. It couldn't just be you." But I think, like Avery said, just approach them when everything is feeling good so that you're starting from a good place and not from this place where you feel anxious and forgotten.

 

0:15:38.4 RP: Yeah, I think that's so useful also to compare it to method acting. Because to me, what method acting and writing have so much in common is that in trying to create these characters or... If it's nonfiction, yourself as a... Encounter yourself as a character, is that it's about opening yourself up to really, really deep empathy, trying to put yourself in the position of this other character or in the position that you occupied when you were experiencing what you're writing about. And when you're in that place of really open to empathy, of course, you're seeing the world in a different way, you're seeing the world through this lens of that other being. And so that really does change how you are, how you feel. And then if it's leaching into your life, then that's a big deal.

 

0:16:30.6 RP: And I think that the same thing is true, though, of how they could feel empathy toward you. And so if they're someone who's, or if she's someone who's used to opening herself up to that kind of empathy to do her work, then I do think that there's a good chance that she will be able to empathize with your situation, what you experience as the runoff of that artistic process. So I really agree that being very honest about how it makes you feel or how it affects you, and addressing it at a time when she's not on deadline would be great. I think that there's a really good chance that she would be open to that. And it also sounds like she needs a transitional period. So if what she's doing during the day is falling into the space of this other time, this other character, and then there's a jarring kind of grinding of what her getting back to your relationship, it sounds like maybe she needs a half an hour of meditating, exercising, showering, whatever her jam is for decompressing, or staring at a video game, or watching an episode of TV, whatever it is to transition out of the mode of being that character and into the mode of being the self that interacts with you.

 

0:17:54.2 RP: And maybe a great way to start the conversation, again, at a moment not at deadline, is being like, "It seems like you have... That it's a bit jarring for you to enter back into our life at the end of your writing day. Is there a process that we could set up for you that I could be supportive of where at the end of writing, it's not like you write until 6:30 and then we have dinner at 6:35, but you write until 6:00. And then from 6:00 to 6:30 or 6:00 to 7:00, we've set up this sort of quick decompression time for you? And you do whatever you need to do in that hour. And then at 7:00, when we have dinner together, we're together, we are here." And that might mean asking her about what she's been writing, it might mean talking about your own writing, it could be talking about your vacation or whatever you talk about at dinner. But sometimes, I think if you're the person who's doing the writing, you feel a lot of pressure to maximize that any time that you're not writing to be with the people in your life. So you think, "If I'm done writing at 6:15, then at 6:15, I should start interacting because I've already been away for this amount of time."

 

0:19:05.0 XA: Yeah, yeah.

 

0:19:05.7 RP: And so just giving her permission to take until 7:00 and extend that so that she has 45 minutes or however long to come back to you in a way that feels healthy for her and still respectful of her process, that permission, I think, and saying that it's worth spending a little less time together to make the time you do spend of quality would be potentially really helpful for destressing her at the end of writing, as well as helping you experience her the way you're used to.

 

0:19:37.7 AF: And I think this is such a universal thing too. Second fiddle really talks about this in reference to writing, but I think you can also turn this back with the pandemic right now, and so many folks being home and working from home, if they're able to, there isn't that commute home, where people get to de-press, where they don't have to talk. Where they can just do that thing. And so I think this is probably an issue that a lot of people are dealing with right now, especially if you're stuck in the same residence together the whole time.

 

0:20:12.8 AF: That can be... Finding those decompression points and ways to do it are really important, and you totally reminded me of one of my best friends from college. She... Five girls, all very loud. And that's me saying that. Alright, I love them. All very loud, and five girls, one house, the mom, the dad, the dad would go to work, he would come home and go downstairs to the basement. He would get a Schlitz, literally a Schlitz from the basement beer fridge, 'cause it's the midwest, so we have beer fridges. So you go get the Schlitz from the beer fridge, he would have one beer. No one would go downstairs. No one would bother him. And then he would go upstairs when that beer was done, and it was, "Daddy's home!" So decompression is necessary, whether it's because you're in a creative process, whether it's because you're in a pandemic, whether it's just, "You know what, my job is that stressful, or I just need it." It's self-care, take that time.

 

0:21:25.6 RP: Yeah, and the last thing I would add to that is, I liked that we were talking about the part where you said that her talent and drive really helped your artistic process. And I think that, let's not de-couple those things, because I think that sometimes it is in fact the sort of, "Ooh, is she a little too intense about her process, or does that make my life harder?" The flip side of that is the person who's so passionate that she really inspires you to up your ante in your own work. So it's like, yeah, that's a con, it's not feeling great right now, but also there is the pro side to that con, and I think that it's great for you to talk to her and see if you can massage this process and all these things, but I also think it's important that we never forget that some of the qualities in our partners that we find challenging, that the flipside of those are some of the things that we love the best about them, and that we can't really just fiddle with them like an Instagram filter, you know? Up light slightly and down the shadows like sometimes if you want high contrast, you gotta have dark shadows. Yeah, just keeping in mind the benefits that you reap, that might be a direct result of that kind of intensity.

 

0:22:50.2 XA: Okay, so this week's playlist, guys, is called Getting back to love, of course. And it's all over the place, I have to say, but I did put a Taylor Swift song on there for you, Avery, because I always tease you about your Taylor Swift love, but Delicate is the song, I don't know if you know that song.

 

0:23:11.2 AF: That is a good one.

 

0:23:12.4 XA: Yeah, it's a good one. I've got Rihanna's Russian roulette on there. I've got some Sam Smith, Florence and the Machine, Childish Gambino, Death Cab for Cutie, The Chainsmokers, Usher, Roxette, it's all over the place, but they're all songs about either finding your way back to someone or finding your way back to a place where you wanna be with someone. So I think it's a good one. You guys will have to let me know what you think.

 

0:23:36.7 RP: I love that. Well, so this week's recipe is based on the first line of our second letter, which was, "I'm in a real pickle." I couldn't resist, because I love pickled things. And I considered several different recipes, and I finally landed on this pickled cucumber salad that I really love. It is crisp and bright, 'cause it's raw, the cucumber is raw, so it's perfect for summer. But I also do it with a sesame oil, so you can really do it in the winter too. So it's like a vinegary, sesame-y, garlicky, pickled cucumber salad with fresh herbs, really delicious.

 

0:24:25.2 XA: Nice. Sounds delightful.

 

0:24:27.1 RP: Just make sure you have a lot of mouthwash if you're gonna make-out afterward, 'cause the garlic is intense, but it's super worth it. I promise you. Recipe...

 

0:24:37.0 AF: You just both eat it.

 

0:24:38.3 XA: I was gonna say, you both eat it. You're getting back to love, eat it together.

 

0:24:40.9 RP: Yes, listen to the playlist, get back to the love of garlic, like our ancestors, and eat some garlicky pickle.

 

0:24:51.8 XA: That sounds delicious.

 

0:24:54.9 AF: Well, our recs for this week, so we had, in a past episode, a little chat about things that you can do together to sort of keep the spark alive. Well, that fab Mr. Flynn and I have been married for 20 some years. I know. And we kept falling into the dreaded Netflix, Hulu, Disney plus, Apple TV, all the streaming systems where you just go through forever and not find something to watch. So we have instituted movie nights at our house, and what we did was we each got, 'cause we have completely different taste in movies, that's the other part that makes it last forever. We are a true opposites romance, opposites attract. So we each picked out 10 movies that we'd never seen. We shared the list with each other just to make sure there were no firm, hard, "No, I'm not watching that ever. You can't make me," and then we put them in a little container, and we get to pick, and we do one each time. And so, we picked out his last one that we picked that was drawn that he had made, was Black Lace and Blood. And it is a horror movie, an Italian horror movie from 1964.

 

0:26:12.4 XA: I was gonna say it's one of...

 

0:26:13.0 RP: Oh, It's Giallo?

 

0:26:14.6 AF: It's dubbed. We made it 15 minutes in. I like I love horror movies, I do not like slasher movies, so it was a little bit of that. But so we ended up just picking the next thing that happened to pop up, and for some reason, the algorithm recommended the Phantom Thread, which is...

 

0:26:38.0 XA: Really? That's random.

 

0:26:45.3 AF: You could get... But maybe you can see some parallels with poison mushrooms. Watched it. We had never seen it. It was really, really good. Highly recommend it if you like dubbed Italian slasher horror movies, finish up Black Lace and Blood, and tell me what you think... It's free on Prime... But we did not make it, but I do definitely recommend Phantom Thread.

 

0:27:12.2 RP: Avery, I did not know that you were a horror movie fan, and I am really delighted to hear that.

 

0:27:16.2 AF: Oh, I like scary horror movies and mind fucks.

 

0:27:21.4 XA: Yeah, me too.

 

0:27:22.0 AF: I do not like Freddy and Jason and all that stuff. I'll never watch the Scream movies. Or not Scream. What are the ones with the...

 

0:27:30.5 RP: Saw?

 

0:27:30.7 AF: Hostel and things like that. Saw. Those are not for me.

 

0:27:33.5 XA: The first Saw was like a psychological thing.

 

0:27:35.8 AF: Oh, was it?

 

0:27:36.0 XA: But then after that, they just went for like how many body parts can we cut off. Yeah, the first one is pretty trippy.

 

0:27:42.6 AF: Alright, I might give that a try then.

 

0:27:44.9 XA: Our horror episode is gonna be awesome. We're gonna have to pick some horror...

 

0:27:48.2 RP: Oh my God, I can't wait for our Halloween horror episode that we've just decided that we're doing. And also, we should do a... Okay, sorry, this is a little just side bar, but yesterday for Valentine's Day, what Timmy and I decided to do was to watch romantic horror movies and play horror Trivial Pursuit.

 

[laughter]

 

0:28:12.8 RP: One that we watched that was great was Bell, Book and Candle from 1958. It's not really a horror move, it's like...

 

0:28:18.9 AF: No, but it's weird.

 

0:28:21.5 RP: It's weird, yeah. Weird and witchy.

 

0:28:22.1 XA: I don't know that one.

 

0:28:23.6 RP: But when we were going through lists of horror movies that deal with romance, there's so many. We should do an episode that is answering questions about relationships from horror movie characters like, "Hey, my husband seems to be obsessed with his ex, and the maid seems really obsessed with her too, but she died mysteriously. What's going on?"

 

0:28:49.6 XA: I would love that so much.

 

0:28:51.8 RP: Yeah.

 

0:28:52.9 AF: I like that.

 

0:28:53.7 XA: This must happen.

 

0:28:55.0 AF: Yes.

 

0:28:55.6 XA: It has to happen now.

 

0:28:57.2 RP: Anyway, my rec was also a horror movie, kind of. It's not really very horrific. It's called Bite, it's from 2019, and it is a vampire movie. I had never heard of it. We were just scrolling through maybe Shutter the other day and found it, but it's delightful. It's about teen and young adult-aged characters, and the main character is a trans girl who goes to LA to stay with her brother for a little while, and on her first night in town, she goes to a club and falls in with this gaggle of vampires.

 

0:29:35.1 AF: As one is wont to do.

 

0:29:36.9 RP: Like you do.

 

0:29:37.7 XA: In LA, I mean what else do you do?

 

[laughter]

 

0:29:39.8 RP: Exactly. LA and a club, always vampires.

 

0:29:43.0 XA: Always.

 

0:29:43.9 RP: And yeah, it was pretty delightful. It has a terrible rating on IMDB, and people making fun of it for being awful, but it's legit delightful.

 

0:29:52.5 XA: Okay, I'm gonna have to watch that.

 

0:29:54.4 AF: I love that. Only from Roan would you get, "Oh this great horror movie. It's delightful!"

 

[laughter]

 

0:30:01.1 AF: You are so Wednesday Addams. It's just not even funny. I love it, it's my favorite.

 

0:30:07.2 XA: Well, I went for... I have comfort watches, you know those movie that you just return to. Like Fifth Element is one of my comfort watches. I watch it like a billion times. But one of my new ones that I just discovered is a comfort watch for me this weekend is Old Guard on Netflix. I don't know if you've seen it yet.

 

0:30:22.1 RP: I did see it.

 

0:30:22.9 AF: I have not.

 

0:30:23.6 XA: It's based on a graphic novel, I think, and it's Charlize Theron as this immortal. She's like the oldest of these immortals, and they never really say how old she is, but we're talking thousands of years old. It's like the perfect action, there's lots of heart, there's a lot of found family stuff, there's a wonderful gay romance in it. Oh my God, those guys, every time they come on the screen and they talk to you... There's this monologue, I won't give it away, but there's a monologue that one of them has about his partner, and it's just the most beautiful love letter, like oral love letter you will ever hear. It's amazing. It's such an amazing movie, so... Yeah, and it's on Netflix, and I think I've seen it half a dozen times now, so it's officially one of my comfort watches.

 

0:31:05.3 AF: Alright, that keeps coming up in my recs, so I'm gonna put it on now.

 

0:31:10.4 XA: Watch it. Yeah. I could watch Charlize Theron in anything, but really, it's a good movie.

 

0:31:13.7 RP: I just rewatched Fury Road, speaking of Charlize Theron.

 

0:31:17.0 AF: I love that.

 

0:31:18.3 RP: Which is someone I love, and she's just so damn watchable.

 

0:31:21.5 XA: Yeah.

 

0:31:21.8 AF: That was one of those movies I actually got to see in the theater back when we could do that. Oh my God. That was such a trip. I love that movie. That's one of my comfort watches.

 

0:31:32.5 XA: Her other film, I can't think of the title right now, the one where it's like she's a spy in the 1980s...

 

0:31:36.5 AF: Was that the Atomic Blonde?

 

0:31:39.7 XA: Atomic Blonde. That's one of my comfort watches, which I haven't watched in a while so I may watch it tonight. But yeah, I love that film.

 

0:31:45.8 RP: Welcome to our podcast, the Charlize Theron...

 

0:31:48.9 XA: The Charlize Theron. [laughter] So it's Charlize Theron stand podcast, so...

 

[laughter]

 

0:31:52.6 AF: Sorry y'all, all letters must now deal with...

 

0:31:57.2 RP: Dear Charlize.

 

0:31:58.7 AF: Sorry.

 

0:32:03.7 RP: Thank you so much for listening. What did you think? Did we get it right? Totally got it wrong? Let us know.

 

0:32:09.7 XA: And remember to follow us on social media, subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and YouTube, and tell your friends to do the same. Plus, be sure to subscribe to our newsletter at dearromancewriter.com for all the latest, and to get access to special Patreon only content.

 

0:32:26.0 AF: As always, keep sending in those letters at dearromancewriter.com. You have questions. We have questionable answers. See you next time.