EPISODE 37
TRANSCRIPT
0:00:11.3 S1: Welcome to do a romance writer were three writers who always deliver happily ever after offered questionable advice for all of your relationship work and life problems. I am every Flinders
0:00:24.6 S2: And I'm zero. We have a terrific show for you today with the amazing mesosa. Yeah, I was all about your self... MEA, you're in Virginia, DC, Maryland, marine, right outside of Annapolis.
0:00:41.5 S1: Welcome. I use those. Let's see, brief description. I write funny, flirty, moderately dirty series, lovingly Way road.
0:00:55.5 S2: I like this, is that you say.
0:00:56.7 S1: Yeah.
0:00:57.3 S2: It should be your tag if I go...
0:00:58.8 S1: Okay, good. Because I like that. Yeah, so I'm a writer, have I been repenting for super long, I think my first book came out in 2015, seems like a decade ago that it all counting in dog years now. Exactly, exactly right. And my next release is the wedding crusher, which comes out in April.
0:01:26.7 S2: I'm so excited for that. Waitlist, another star review for that.
0:01:31.0 S1: Did? Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. From Booklist? Yeah, yeah. I will say the worst best man, which came out is the first book in this series, it was one of my favorite rates a year at... Absolutely, hands down. I endorse you guys haven't read it and you wanna read a really good book, go grab it.
0:01:58.2 S2: Fully indoors, this on
0:02:00.2 S1: The listens, it is just because I look at all three of you and I'm like, Oh my gosh, are so amazing and the right amazing books and calm hooks just really... My God, you're a sterile are super excited to have you here to join us and offering questionable advice, for sure. And before we get to our letter of the week though, it's been a week taking weeks, I don't know what to say, so... Let's see. Y'all tell me something exciting or fun. That happened to you this week. Oh, well. So it was my birthday. No, that's right, that's right. Happy years will finally do anyway, I can find a taste way that's really awkward when you spend your 21st
0:02:58.0 S2: Berkshire, you've been going to for a while.
0:03:00.7 S1: So... Just FYI on that. I know I would give a time that there were people who actually hadn't drunk until they were 21 anyway, it was my 40th birthday, almost a welcome to the good decade. Yeah, and so my girlfriend had planned the whole birthday thing and she wouldn't tell me where we were going, so we just drove and she was like, Okay, hard here, Parker, and then she took me to a cat cafe, which is a hatter for you. I know, I've always wanted to go to one and I had a very out loud in public response when I saw the is it was so sweet and we were the only people there for a while, 'cause Jenny had made an appointment for us to be there and so we just... It was just us and 15 cats, and we were like Cornell and playing with the mall and it was amazing. So it is in brewery town on Gerard Avenue in Philadelphia, anyone wants to go, and they are all of it all for adoption, so you can go in and you can kinda make a cat friend and then adopt it is... Cannot introduce another cut into the ecosystem to hear that, but if anybody is looking for a CAT every single day in one of these cuts, I would take home with me.
0:04:18.1 S1: They were so sweet, so friendly, some of them became obsessed with us and started following us around, some pretended they didn't care about us 'cause you cats, but it was the... I like how you put that in some pretentious knew they were lying, they were still obsessed with you. Oh yeah, yeah. I mean... Yeah, but it was lovely and amazing and... Exactly the perfect thing for me.
0:04:41.3 S2: I might have to, I can't go there, but I might send Mr. X there. I don't even know that they had one.
0:04:47.1 S1: Don't go to because not only will it be like an allergy, how it also is very ammonia smelling, which I feel...
0:04:53.4 S2: Oh yeah, I can't go anywhere on there, but I will definitely send him... 'cause we're both Mr. X and Ron or both cat was buried places with Ron where like the cat just came out of nowhere and just followed her around, so...
0:05:06.6 S1: I love them so much, and that's what happened at this place too, which I don't take personally, 'cause I think they are just ads that probably were fed everyone in Paris when the cats get finding me, but it was really, truly global. And I highly recommend if you have a cat cafeteria, they do that as a big fundraiser for the SPCA here where we are, and they have... It's like a mall, but it's got an outside part, it's very weird. I don't understand it, but they run out like one of the spots, one of the little store fronts basically, and do it... Basically, spring and summer. So spring is perfect, 'cause that's when all the kites come... Well, this wasn't actually serving any food or anything as pandemic, but if there's a spot that you can write out to do that I would... Oh my God, book reading, then that would be sort... And they're just cats everywhere, I mean, come with a... But I can't come either we... Sowell I spent this week trying to talk the fat Mr. Flynn into letting us be foster parents for our local animal shelter, and I was like, We can do puppies and poppies will get picked right away, so we don't have them for longer than five or six weeks, and he refuses...
0:06:36.3 S1: Can you believe it? His limit is actually hard limited five dogs and a cat. So I might hurt by that, and if you guys would like to start a petition... I see, yes. I think puppies. That's an instance, new house meet. And so I understand where he's coming, Oneonta petition Mennonites went my way, Jamie. Is your house set up in such a way that you could... 'cause this is such a book that I would like to read where you were you snack puppy and you were trying to foster it in the garage or in a closet or something. And he was like, What's that in around puppies? Not, but I like how you think. I love the devious-ness of it. Absolutely, no, that would not work. So I haven't been around Puppies, I've just reproaches, and it seems like that's somebody that would work in a form... It would totally work in a romance... Not would in real life. Not so much. Not so much, it's sort of like a public proposal works in a romance novel, even if you're like, boom, in real life, you're always like, Oh God, that's gonna go poorly.
0:07:54.8 S2: So... Yeah.
0:07:56.4 S1: That's my week. How about you guys on me?
0:08:00.1 S2: Weeks, just been going, trying to... Not put my brain on the top of my head, pop off, not to school, I know I have been dreams growing. I even do Cain's hard. Yeah, yeah. Me.
0:08:21.0 S1: Anything fun this week. So technically, it didn't happen to me, but my husband says it did happen to us. Our daughter turned 18. He's like, I to take credit for that. And so the area, it's a big deal. So we sell it. This is a good thing. Yes, yes. And she is good and sweet and loves her younger sister, and they get along fabulously, and she's off to college soon, so it's kind of all of this stuff coming out all at once, but it's... On the one hand, I'm terrified of her leaving home, on the other hand, I'm super excited for her and for her future, and so it's that... It's basically me and my age going back and forth, like I do every day, I'm good, I'm not good, I'm... So that's why light right now, so this is all just getting very well with that, I have an open can of chocolate frosting in my French that I have hidden away, so nobody can tell, so I feel your pain to somebody who sent a kid to college last year and she's there now. I highly recommend it. Emergency chocolate frosting became... I get a whole 30 to
0:09:51.0 S2: What I'm doing now.
0:09:52.3 S1: What was I thinking? I don't know, glutton for punishment as a front... I'm actually thinking to figure out what my food triggers are, 'cause I definitely have them and... So somebody was like, Have you tried a 30? And I was like, That sounds like something I would never wanna do. And they're like, Yes, but you're only doing it for 30 days. So I'm trying it and I have figured out at least one thing, which is that I am allergic to corn, so all... Yeah, I got to it and I was just like, What is this? But I guess the idea is, because you're dealing only with a certain amount of foods, then you can isolate it, find out what her purporting things, and so I'm really looking forward to what is called Re-entry when you start bringing everything back so that you can figure out, what else is bothering you? And I'm like, Oh, what's the first thing? My birthday's on the 11th, so I think it'll be alcohol. I think I enjoy this.
0:10:55.4 S2: Happy, Early biophysical. Do something fun. Last week we made... I made Marines, which I'd never done before. We had a bazillion Ed whites in the French. So I was like, What can I do with this? 'cause they were so sweet. You know... But they turned out okay. Not bad. I actually did the kind of piping thing and you're supposed to... You make them really low for an hour and then you turn the up and off and the challenges, you can't open the U and for two or three hours 'cause they have to dry out. So it was like every time Mirandola like, Don't touch you haven't... Don't open the oven, 'cause he wants to check... Like one, don't do it. Don't even do that it... Yeah, if we
0:11:36.9 S1: Know it to that what I have to do that I do not rate because my memory is zero, and I've done that other baked goods where it's like you're posed to a dry out and the other a US supposed to turn the fan off the temperature off and then let them just finish cooking, and I like a gold fish brain, and so I put a pen so that I physically cannot sabotage myself.
0:12:00.1 S2: Okay, maybe next time I don't do that. But she was good. I reminded him every time, so he didn't do it, but... Yeah, I... Goodison Dowell.
0:12:11.3 S1: Okay, I am so glad that we had some things that happened that were good in our week, because now we're about to read a letter to does not have good things going on. This matter is really interesting, and I'm superiors here, everybody is... Everybody's thoughts on it. So this was not a letter written to... This was a letter to the how to do it column from slate dot com, which is like a sex everything to do with sex questions column. So our letter, Dear how to do it. I'm a woman who, since I was a teenager, has had my entire sexuality centered on Cops through experimentation, I've learned that role play handcuffs and a uniform are not enough, I prefer the real thing, so I sleep with cops and I love every second of it. But these men have not made good romantic partners for me long-term, I'm looking for a serious relationship, mostly because they tend to be right-wing, I'm not... And also often have anger issues, PTSD and... Or alcoholism issues. I think I'll always be holding out for an officer who is the exception to the rule, but in the meantime, I'd like to be able to orgasm from a civilian.
0:13:20.3 S1: Can I somehow rewire what arouses me? I think it's the real power over my life that turns me on to pretend power exchange with say, a software developer or an accountant, doesn't hit the spot signed... Yes, officer, to
0:13:38.5 S2: Specific areas.
0:13:41.6 S1: Very specific. And it was in R. I don't remember which one of you had put it and I didn't originally find it, but I chose it for this week because I thought it was something that we hadn't really talked about before, was like what happens if your tank does not line up with your values? And how do you reconcile those things? Or can you even... So I'm really curious to hear what you all found about that... Alright, well, I'm doing a Google search right now, so that's kind of what this one did to me, that is interesting in how specific it is, and also worry some kind of just beyond... Let's take the political aspect out just for a second, just the centering in one specific sexual desire based around somebody's job is an interesting fetish, 'cause it almost feels like this is specifically finishing because it's not anything about the person themselves, it is all centered around the occupation which is what takes something from being a king to a finish or preference to a finish, but that's kind of what I'm stuck on right now, but I just don't even... That is really interesting.
0:15:09.6 S2: You guys have flammable having power over my life is an interesting choice of words. It's just... Yeah, it's kind of disturbing actually.
0:15:25.4 S1: Because I agree, I was actually super disturbed, not think that... I wanna be super clear that having a tank for something insects is not in any way related to your personal, emotional, political or sings about a person, a job or whatever. So I wanna be clear that when I say that it was created me out, it was not because of the kink part. I do think I have so many questions. First, I assume that this is a white cis woman, because I sort of cannot or I suppose a white gay man, because I sort of cannot conceive... Well, I can't Coteau what I just said about K, but I feel like if this person were non-white, something about racial dynamics and Police violence would have come up in this letter, and that was the piece to me that I was like, Wow, it's so fascinating that someone could write a letter like this and not say anything in a... About it. Yeah, because she said It wing, but right-wing is way far on the spectrum of like, Here's my only thought to that, that I just wanna interject real quick is there is a whole...
0:16:38.2 S1: Just to bring our industry into things, there are people, authors of color who write master slave romance, who write the YETI, don't know if I'd make that automatic jump into it being a white is person, but that's just me.
0:16:56.1 S2: But I think where I'm gonna point or if it was, say, an African-American woman or man, there would be some language in here, at least... Yeah, you would be... If they say, say right wing, but they don't anything about the racial aspects.
0:17:09.2 S1: There is a certain awareness here, what issues arise for them personally, and I would be very surprised even if you are the kind of person who write a master slave story that you wouldn't acknowledge that that... That there is an issue we were at before that there is something about that particular preference that you feel uncomfortable with, I would expect that up too, if I know that Naseem is a thing. But as a Jewish person, if I had a Nazi fetish, I don't think that I would ever write a letter about it where I didn't say something like, I'm Jewish, and this makes me really uncomfortable because they literally murdered my family kind of thing. I feel like that it doesn't mean that I couldn't have that finish, I totally could, but I do think that it would sort of feed into part of my concern, whereas this person's concern to me is strictly along the lines of reconciling a kink with the long-term relationship and romance that they want, and so they're like, These people are fine for the next part of what I want, but they're... Some of the social behaviors that go with their job in this person's experience are not good at for a boyfriend that she wants, so yeah, I feel like I'm not positive, but I do feel...
0:18:37.0 S1: Well, and also with the letter, it's not a concern of, Hey, this is the specific slice of life, right here is exactly what I'm attracted to, That's not... She does have... I say she, 'cause I'm with you. I kind of just assume the letter writers, women... The letter writer doesn't seem to have a problem with that at all, the problem seems to rise in the fact that they are not meeting her needs outside of sex, that can actually be kind of a universal thing, what do you do when you meet somebody and you are attracted to every single part of that person or... Yeah, you're attracted to that person, but they don't meet your needs anywhere except for the bedroom or you're missing something out... This is sort of that, you know, I love everything about this person except for their politics, I love everything about this person, except for their job, I love everything about this person except for the fact that they cannot... I can't have an orgasm during sex with to, you know, whatever that
0:19:46.5 S2: Thing is, and sometimes these things are enough that it's a no-go, and sometimes these things are things you can work around, and the only person really that can figure that out is you... It's interesting that she... And she does identifying stuff as a woman... Yeah, it's interesting that she talks about the officers that she's been with in terms of their issues, anger issues, PTSD, alcoholism, and then she says, I think I'll always hold off an offer, so who's an exception? Whatever your opinion is of the police force, United States, there are offers that don't deal with these issues, so the fact that she keeps gravitating towards these type of men, it says a lot more about what's going on here than just her specific finish... She's not just going after or putting herself out there for police officer, she was putting herself out there for police officers of a certain ilk, and I think that's the bigger issue here, 'cause it's a... Someone who has power over your life, as she puts it, could be in the military, they could be a politician, it could be a bunch of things other than a cop. So this is a very...
0:21:03.4 S2: That's why I said this is kind of disturbing that it's almost like... I don't know, there's something... There's a lot going on here, this is
0:21:10.1 S1: So I'm really curious to see what the advice was that they gave it seals the advice thing even so very brief, I did, I did look 'cause it was right underneath the respondent whose name I'm forgetting, said, asked if this person had explored their tanks and their sexual desires vastly, and so then maybe it was true that a coup was the thing that got them off and only that, but that they were... They were thinking that maybe this person had some exploration to do... It is some exhaustive exploration to do that was a little bit more based on kind of like the whole 30, but with sex in... Find out what are the things that trip that trigger you in a good way, and what are the things like, Oh my God, I would drink the shit out of that book, so you know, it's a whole 30... But with sexual exploration, I don't read the shit out of that is work actually. That would be really interesting. And you should write it because you've done the whole 30... I do not, but yeah, I think that was the letter writers for the respondents, only advice was see what other tanks you might have, because this is so specific that I would be surprised if it wasn't found elsewhere, 'cause Lecco as saying, having power over your life.
0:22:34.0 S1: Interestingly, that is something that I think a lot of this women feel about all men they have sex with, is that it's scary because you have power over my life. I can that out. Yeah, it's so hard for me to think of this outside of the context of the racial dynamic. Yeah, that just... And so the fact that this person hasn't raised a racial dynamic component as part of it, makes me wonder, again about perhaps what site was suggesting or the extensive-ness of her search, and that perhaps if that isn't an issue for her, then maybe the answer is to go out there and explore more or different situations in which there may be that power imbalance that she's looking for, but that doesn't lead to the deterioration of the relationship in other areas. I don't know, it's so striking to me that she's identified this specific thing and then he bolted in these kinds of relationships, because I gotta believe, like Zeo said, that there are some cops out there for kind and loving and would provide perhaps what she's looking for, but again, my natural inclination is to be like, you don't want that.
0:24:16.6 S1: And I have to take a step back and say, It's not for me to say, right? But it's also complicated when you think about trying to encourage somebody to fulfill their sexual needs while at the same time trying to meet all of their other needs, 'cause sometimes that is incompatible, I wonder what... You can have a power-dynamic sexual relationship that doesn't involve somebody with a military or police or that type of background, and those relationships don't mean that this is somebody who's cruel outside of it, or has PTSD or all of those things. It is simply part of the sexual relationship, or if you were in a full-scale or full-time... I'm getting in goal wrong DS relationship, then. That also could be something, but what I wonder is if the letter writer kind of crave that type of relationship, but for whatever reason, doesn't find it acceptable to seek that out, and so therefore fetching someone because of their job is as close as she can get to realizing that, and so that's why it's specifically police officers as opposed to military, as opposed to just a general seating of control, BDSM type of relationship.
0:25:49.4 S1: So that, again, leads to the exploring outside of where you're at type
0:25:55.7 S2: Of thing, part of her fetish is that she said she pretend power a power exchange with a software developer, an account and doesn't hit the spot. So this, there's something going on her brain where it has to be that close to it, that has to be that real, like This person's position of power has to be that real for this... Anything to happen. I do wonder how old she is and what her relationships were like before she... Well, she said since she was a teenager, so this... Yeah, this feels like someone who doesn't have a lot of experience outside of this kind of relationship, who maybe hasn't done any exploration in the BDSM world, because going from an abusive police officer to a software developer or account is a huge leap. Yeah, so there's some stuff missing in here... You know.
0:26:48.5 S1: The weed I just thought about is, what is the precise power that this person has over a... This particular situation, so it's something that she's seeking out, what I'm wondering by virtue of this person being a cog, how do you perceive that as then this person having actual power over you, which I certainly not to be my reaction. And she doesn't bring up any... That they're doing any kind of... Seating of power or anything like that. It almost sounds like it's totally mental in our brains.
0:27:28.0 S2: That's what means there's something going on that's just... Unless that part is real, it's not good enough, it's...
0:27:37.6 S1: But it's, you know what human sexuality is so cool because it's such a mystery, I mean... Yeah, there are very... I'm sure if you can't say everybody, but except for probably a few exceptions, people don't wake up and say, This is type of thing that I'm attracted to as far as how you like to have sex, as far as how you... What really turned you on? What flips your trigger? What is acceptable to you? What is not acceptable to you? All of that, and it is such like we talk about Human Sexuality in terms of that, but we don't really... At least I have never end readers, if you get readers, listeners, if you guys know of any great books on this, I would love to read them about sort of the psychological dynamics of human desire. We read about sexuality, but when it comes to desire itself, that is a much bigger sort of... It just is what it is. Type of way, it's interesting to me that some fetishes or kinks begin, not because of the thing itself, but because it's associated with a moment in your life when you got very tendon, when you have really good sex, and so I would be curious if this is someone who like...
0:28:59.7 S1: And this is, I do not mean to psycho-analyze this person as if there has to be some Fran reason for the certain thing, but I do not... This is the person who grew up with a crush on the dad's best friend who was a cop, or like an older brother who was a cop, or has a whole family full of cops, and so that's... She's been around these people her whole life, or if the first person she ever had sex with was a cop and it was really good, and then she just kind of got fixated on that thing.
0:29:25.8 S2: I... She just obsessively watch Law Order. And that's like it. You know.
0:29:32.9 S1: So we have a whole sub-genre in romance, there are many, many readers who enjoy romances with cops as the main character, and there is something associated with that, I think for many of readers, this sense of power, not the power imbalance, but the sense of power that's associated with a person who is an authority, it's like a protective thing though most of the time. Yeah, right. And also with military romance, what's interesting to me is whether that's potentially was the start of it, is this sort of seeking out, this protective-ness, seeking out someone who you perceive will be your protector, and then desiring that, but then not desiring everything else that comes along with it, which is the not so nice stuff that she mentioned in the letter.
0:30:34.8 S2: I owe my life is really, really Jonathan.
0:30:40.9 S1: But I just wonder whether what she's seeking is something else, and it's that sense of... And I think also in pop culture, we generally just have the sense of people in uniform are generally regarded as attractive and powerful and all of that, so you could see that somebody might have that sort of first interest and then it turns into something else, which is what might have happened with this reader? I'm not sure. Yeah, I have a lot of opinions thoughts that I know to be sat here about the... About Romans Landy as CoPilot Ry, what I will call a problem, but what you could really call a situation, but we don't get go into that here 'cause it's like a different conversation, but I do think that one of the things about pop culture is that pop culture stance on a particular type of person has the ability, as we well know, to influence what people think about that type of person or ill for good, all of the things, and I do think that romance, Landi, military, romance ring cops and military people. We construct like Romans and as a whole, construct those as heroes in romance stories, and popular culture often has the veteran, the cop, these are main characters, these are as many bits of pop culture associate those people with Justice, heroism, protection at all of those things.
0:32:21.6 S1: And if this is the letter writer is the person who grows up, who grew up in our society and has fed on a steady diet of that, I think that it could be that this is like a sex thing first, but it could be that it was a love thing. First, it could be that this is someone who grew up reading romance and had crushes on romance, heroes who were hopetoun be any of these things, or... Yeah, shows like lawn order absolutely portray cops as heroes, and so these are things that we swim in an ocean of positive representation of that, and so if what this person wanted was to feel protected, to feel, all those kind of things that we would call positive and then also, like Adrian was saying, has a cake for power exchange, but didn't know that or thought that that was a taboo in some ways, I can see how those two things, like the worship of the positive aspects of how cops are coded and then the fetish for an, I could see how those things cross over in a way that's really interesting, obviously we cannot just be like, We don't know why this person has this cake and I don't...
0:33:32.4 S1: We don't need to figure it out, but I do think that romances and popular culture and everything to construct our ideas to some extent of who is the hero, who is a savior, all those things in a way. That's really interesting. Well, I did my Google search as we've been having this discussion, and I made it through with the question of Can you rewire what Rousey... 'cause that's a core question here, I made it through six pages and everything is only one rewiring your brain after porn addiction or people who do a lot of Rub stuff, and then a couple of articles on the captains that is like conversion therapy. So none of which I find valuable or worth clicking into, so I couldn't even... Yeah, that is really interesting, but I do think that everybody has something that arouses them that maybe they aren't particularly happy with.
0:34:47.0 S2: Or they wouldn't share with the world, or they're totally good with just... It is interesting how arousal and desire to are different for everybody, and she's definitely... She's convinced herself that this is it, and I'm hoping that she'll find a way to de-couple what arouses her from the other part of it, which is this very specific fish go explore girl. Yeah, yeah. Well, that was okay, mentor me today
0:35:25.5 S1: That I got a...
0:35:29.1 S2: Well, we're gonna switch to switch gears completely, because we've all been sort of stuck inside for the last couple of years for the most part, so... I wanna talk about hobbies. Do you guys have any hobbies... Have you had any... Obviously, you picked up any new hobbies during this last two years now.
0:35:47.0 S1: I can answer this from room... Yes, so many... Here you go to any, man, we're gonna be here for a bit. So back, get a drink. Put your feet up. I was like, I won't go first. I'll go first. No. Here you go. I didn't you... I'll do puzzles every once in a while, but yeah, I'm really bad at copies, I'm very competitive, so like doing something for the enjoyment of it... I have a hard time with that, so yeah. Are there any therapy... Are the hobbies that you like when you read about them in books or whatever, you're always kind of like, Oh, that's fun, I wanna read about that even if you don't wanna... The hobby yourself? No, but I do enjoy making my best friends who both like to do planners and stickers and things, I enjoy to eat at the... So that's my hobby, is calling them weirdos fate, and they start talking about, Oh, I tap my new planner saying, and it does this and it has that, and I got the extra patch and I got stickers made. I'm like, You're a bunch of weirdos. Yeah. Yeah, don't look at me as...
0:37:13.6 S1: I actually, I feel like for the past couple of years, it's almost like there's been this pressure to find a Hub at... I remember being like, perhaps I should have a hobby, maybe I should be looking for something that I should do, and I remember mentioning once to my mother, I'm gonna go and grab it so you can see... Oh, I love this camera for a minute. I remember saying to my mother once that I would like to start trying jewelry, this aesthetic AENEAS, not overe tattooed what I thought about it, I just... There's something about, I like small spaces where I can work with my hands, and I thought, Well, this would be good, and using the pliers and all of that might be fun, so I should try this and perhaps after this, I will actually open up the box to my weather, it doesn't... See this hole like you didn't even know it. A look away mom. Look at me, his mom.
0:38:36.7 S2: About You? I'm trying to think. I guess the only hobby I have really is languages, I like learning the language or... The was a cool skill. For the last couple of years, well before the pandemic, I was sort of studying a region off and on sort of casually, but then when we were during the lockdown, decided to immerse myself in it, so I was watching the news every morning in her region, in the evening news and watching in the region, Television and the other stuff, so that was kind of like... It really gave me in my mind, talk about my mind for a bit while we were going stir crazy.
0:39:17.8 S1: I... Now, about your idea to straight Street.
0:39:21.2 S2: Yeah, I'm up to like, I'm almost at 1500 days right now, so I'm like, I'll do a big post wand, that's my second Asim first streak ended like 600 days or something like that. So this is my second street, but yeah, it's... I don't know. My husband's like, you fall in love with countries, I'm like, I do. I was in love with Portugal for a while, so I said I presented... I fell in love with Norway, so
0:39:46.4 S1: I don't hear you come... So young, her daughter started to learn Korean at
0:39:56.3 S2: In, and she's one of those with the planners and the notebooks and all of that stuff, and so she wants to learn how to write it as well, it's been pretty impressive to watch her 'cause I just... I feel like the time of learning languages and having it actually seen my brain is long past... No, 'cause there are so many authors in our group who are CPAP fans, and a quite a few of them are learning Korean because they wanna be able to... They wanna be able to understand the levers
0:40:30.5 S1: And make jewelry stuff too.
0:40:33.8 S2: Right. You are put on the Korean less hands while you were making a... Jeremy, everyone, I've got my coffee ready, go ahead.
0:40:46.1 S1: Yeah, we're all in. We're all relaxed. Bless you all is where I'm not going to list all my hobbies for you, but so I will tell you this, my newest hobby is trying to figure out via tiktok videos if I actually am on the autism spectrum, which I know is what everyone else is doing watching tiktok or not everyone, but people who speeds look like mine is doing, and I have been fighting it, shocking to learn that it's possible that my intense collection of hobbies for my entire life could be either my ADHD fixation on things, truncating, autism obsessions. So that I have the obsessions, but instead of them lasting forever, oftentimes they do with autism, they cycle the way sometimes things do with ADHD, so that those two combine that made me get all these hobbies and then some of them stick and others last for two weeks even when I think that they will change my entire life now and then they go away, so that's my newest hobby, and it is really interesting to think about the way that I am toward hobbies and wondering if it has that function... Which it doesn't really matter either way.
0:42:15.7 S1: If a deer doesn't, I just am constantly curious
0:42:18.0 S2: To me... I'm curious now, what are examples of some of the hobbies that you've had over the years...
0:42:26.1 S1: Okay, plants are my big one that has plans on Cooking, Baking are my big ones that I've had for a long time and have lasted for a long time, so I'm super into plants, gardening, baking, all those things, any kind of art thing, I love... Even the ones that I'm very, very bad at. So I've done jewelry making, I've done sculpture, pottery, painting, drawing, all the paper making, ripper making right now, And whittling anything that I see, I want to know how to make it myself or how it works, so if I have a dish at a restaurant, I want to learn how to recreate it. If I see someone has built something in their front yard, I'm like, I could totally build that, let me figure out how... And the things get bigger and more grandiose, so I will watch it talks where people are running an entire house and really like... I feel very equipped. Now, I do that to the point where my angel girlfriend, Timmy and I are thinking about trying to buy a house together, and we are going to try to buy a house together, but let... We're thinking about where it's gonna be and how and everything, and we've had various areas talks, because I need to know what is the exact cut-off after, which she is like, There's too much that needs to be done on this house, and you will do it really a lot for a certain amount of time, but then you will stop and when we will have a house that's only half red OTs, we cannot get a house that will require you to do to maintain all these projects forever, you...
0:44:10.2 S1: What though, that's so important though, that you guys talk about that, 'cause a lot of times people want... They will just assume that that knowledge that's in their head is just known, especially when you're in a couple and you've been in a relationship for a while, so I help our jobs.
0:44:27.6 S2: Listening to your own advice.
0:44:30.1 S1: You... Mathias, a little list for you. I love it. Impressionism gonna make a new hobby of observing Ron hobbies, and
0:44:44.3 S2: I can be a... Attempting the gifts from Roan solicitor.
0:44:50.4 S1: To have someone to give them to... I will never see. Yeah, we loved having you here with us to so much, please tell us, tell our readers or I keep calling readers the leaders who are at a Teterboro where we can find you on social media and give us the scoop on wedding crashes again, please, 'cause I excited. Got it. Okay, so where can you find... You can find me on Twitter, my handle is me is so, so romance, and you can find me on Instagram at the same handle me, a social romance, and then I have a website on me, a social dot com where you can sign up for my newsletter, which I don't send very often. So you're not signing up for a lot to that, and then the wedding crashes, so this is a Waitrose behind you grab. Oh, you've got a case for you. Yeah, I love discovers. The wedding crusher is about a love of her lawyer and groom who gets jilted at the altar and then ends up fake dating the woman who crashed and stopped his wedding. And it is a roller coaster. I think it's a lot of fun.
0:46:17.1 S1: I'm basically telling people if you're not prepared to have fun... Don't even pick it up. But yeah, I'm really excited about that, and that comes out on April 5th, so... And just a lil over a month. So, alright, so we all have plans for April 5th now
0:46:36.4 S2: For the wedding.
0:46:36.9 S1: Posture is... So thank you again so much for being here. And thank you everybody for coming and hanging out with us. For another episode of Dear romance writer, please remember to send in your questions, you can do it via social media, DM, you can fill out our form on our website to your romance writer dot com, you can email it to us at advice at De romance writer dot com, we accept all interesting stories, and even the less interesting stories will take them... We wanna get what's going on also, if you have ideas of hobbies for Ron to take is let us know because you know she's gonna need more in a week and a half...
0:47:21.7 S2: Yeah, tell us here, really ask some hobby that you think of...
0:47:25.9 S1: We love that. So send in your questions, we can't wait to give you some questionable advice from this trio of happily ever after enthusiast. Thank you, you so much. We'll see you guys next week too. Thank you so much for subscribing to Dear romance writer. Remember to keep sending in those letters, I dearest dot com, we can't wait to tell you what to do, or romance writer is part of the frolic Podcast Network. Find more podcasts you love, framed, podcast.