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0:00:11.4 S1: Hey everybody, welcome back to Dear romance writer, where three writers who owns deliver happily ever after offer questionable advice to all of your relationship work and life problems. We are super excited to be back here for 2022. He missed all of you. I am every Flint, and I am Zara. Unfortunately, Ron's not here with us today. She is in New York, doing all New York type things, but she did a TED Talk.


0:00:41.3 S2: I don't know if you guys knew that, but you guys had to check out her TED Talk, she posted it on her Instagram, so if you're missing, row in like we are go check out her TED Talk, but today we have a really awesome guest, another awesome guest, or income is here with us, and she is a bestselling author, she's like the master of hair color, she's amazing tiktok star.


0:01:01.2 S1: You guys on my tapestries advice on tidally. Totally. To thank you. Hi everybody, I'm right ankle. I write session worthy romance, and yes, I am 100% addicted to tiktok, I love it and also to dying my hair and tattoos, I just... I love it all about... He's a good combo, and I might be doing my hair a special color to match my upcoming release, which is the dating dilemma.


0:01:30.9 S2: Oh, you guys are in a noetherian


0:01:37.1 S1: Podcast automotive. It's a firefighter romance, so of course, you gotta have the bare trust religiously. Lucius, that's a great tattooed tiktok didn't censor like my cover reveal, 'cause you can... On the suspender, you can kinda see a quarter of his nipple and usually they're like, Oh, oh no, no, I... Asim surprised they're letting all this thirst traps. Are you serious? Yeah, not that I've ever seen one. They don't like this that I titrate guy. Interrupts them, what you watch in what you ate.


0:02:14.8 S2: What is not what you do?


0:02:17.2 S1: He needs to be in a story, he would be a wonderful Roman hero. I love him.


0:02:22.0 S2: He's a...


0:02:22.5 S1: That would be hilarious. That's somebody's older brother. That's totally what that is, right? Teleporter. Yeah, yes. Best friend's brother romance. I could see that it... We're so happy to have you here with the team, so happy to be on show. Thank you so much, Tina. I got so distracted by the fire fighter as to the name with the book again, and when it is coming out, you see I met is the dating dilemma, and it comes out January 24th. It is the second in the mile high fire fighter series, but they can all be read as standalone. Nice, nice love. Welcome to this on is... Coming in through my window. Understandable. You're blowing a lot. She's like an angel. Alright, so it is a new year. Unfortunately, is his 2020 part 3 as 2020the sets the electric electric fungi 2020. I don't know, it stated it should be to not even Matt, Happy New Year to everybody listening happened to you guys before we get to our letter, I have to ask you because I need some hope, give me something fun or silly or amusing that it happened so far in 2022 for you in silang, like I get to me.


0:04:02.8 S2: Mr. X decided that over the holidays, he watched... When he's working out, he watches random YouTube video, sometimes it's a workout video, but sometimes like cars or whatever, and he watched a bread baking video, and I have to preface this by saying that he doesn't really eat that much bread, but he decided he wanted to try I know. Well, he wanted to try to make bread, for some reason, he's like, Well, you like, Right, I wanna make some bread for you, I'm like, Okay, honey. But when he gets on a Romero, he is... He's a walking man here, but when he gets into something, this means that this is going to be a porous... Yes, so now we have two Bangui in bakeries that they use at the restaurants, we have a bright, the dose scraper, we have the proofing bubbles, we have... We have the mom and we have a scale, we have all this stuff and I'm like, So we've make response, we've made... We make bread every weekend now, an apple cider donuts last weekend this weekend we're making cardamom bund bread and pizza, so... Yeah, so I oriented... Some of this stuff I'm like.


0:05:12.7 S1: I like the way Yoweri our cards, right?


0:05:17.0 S2: I think I got a new exercise bike 'cause I'm good to the last, but that's a fun thing to sort of like... That is a very onsite weekend.


0:05:25.8 S1: How about that? Right. Well, the other weekend, speaking of things, people do on the weekends, sometimes our kids will get up before us on the weekends and head downstairs, they'll grab it, I had and play Minecraft 'cause they're super addicted to Minecraft. I don't get it. But that's cool. So my six-year-old, I went downstairs, I heard her up and about doing her stuff, I went downstairs and she's like, I saw a ball in front of her by the little iPad doing a mind Rafik. Oh, did you get yourself breakfast, Honey, I'm so proud of me, and she's like, I got it all by myself, mommy and I look, it is a bowl of whip cream. I said, Did you get yourself a goal with creature breakfast? Yes, I'm like, You know, you're not... I love to hear that. She's like, when no one was up. So I thought it was okay. That is... Well, I mean, no. Fallible logic right there. I like protein. Milk dairy is gonna have trouble with this girl, she's already smarter than she should be. You have a loophole kit, that's what we call as a loophole. Kittatinny


0:06:45.3 S2: Was a son. It was no one here to tell me no.


0:06:48.5 S1: Man, I got it myself. Nomination I am right. I think that's actually pretty impressive.


0:06:58.5 S2: That's very impressive. Yes, you do one


0:07:01.0 S1: I... No, I want bread. And when we cremations in EMEA, to me, it melted then when I pass out and fall asleep at 11 o'clock because I need a two-hour now, because when you get old, you can't do that anymore and that socks, so... Alright, well, my happy, silly fun thing is behind me. Perhaps you'll notice I have no work, show's gonna do my next month, my office, so I'm getting ideas, some stealing ideas, looking... These are... What we did was we ordered the IT-a bully bookshelves, I was gonna say, myself and my youngest built the shelves, and my oldest who's home from college did the Palin stick wallpaper on the back before we spent it. Oh, and I'm really glad it was hard on me because there was pattern matching involved, and I have said, Look enough, and she was over there going, Now, you can't do that. And in fact, I did one when she was not looking and she was not happy with me about that, but now I have bookshelves and I'm super, super happy as a...


0:08:15.1 S2: I, I'm so excited to do that. This is a Billy bookshelf, it's just a brown line and it's like, I don't know why we got Brown, I guess we were trying to make it a real furniture, but yeah, I'm looking for the bullies, 'cause I wanna do something with this room 'cause it's a bit of a vomit. We did my book shelf chair up into my office... Oh yes, I saw the position. That was really cool. That's very cool that


0:08:43.2 S1: Our belly... But the emanations, make those and sell those 'cause my spouse made it, I'm like, You should tell me, I'm like, the shipping would cost like 3000 doors heavy.


0:09:01.0 S2: Is it comfort though? It is


0:09:03.1 S1: 'cause we just put patio furniture... Cushions, einar. Yeah, so we can take 'em off and clean them 'cause kids or you can change them out... Exactly, that's the other thing because I know you're not... You're not the type to wanna keep exactly the same thing, like 12 pendant


0:09:22.9 S2: That impression about you or...


0:09:24.6 S1: I like that it about...


0:09:27.5 S2: Before we dive into our letter, 'cause it's a really good one, and it's from a hero, you guys both change your hair call... I don't think ever... You change as much as Mariota, but it might be close. It might be close. 'cause every time I look up, I'm like, No, this is a different one. It's amazing, but how often do you change your hair color? Alright, is it like...


0:09:50.2 S1: Let's see, I think I did like a yearly thing, video reel in a tiktok and I just had a new color like every month last year, it's about every one to two months, 'cause I'll die my hair, the fashion colors like manic panic or Pinky or Arctic box and those wash out. And so then once they wash out and get kinda like a habit, now I'll be like, Oh, what fun color am I gonna do next to get to go as long as I don't die it like Black Box Diet watches up pretty well. And if I have to use color remover, I try to only do leaching like once or twice a year, otherwise it'll fry my hair.


0:10:31.7 S2: Yeah, but have you retried the color work?


0:10:36.5 S1: I have not... My nephews have, and they cried the entire time their mom was putting it in... I don't think she did it right, I thought about trying the color wax though I've done the color track


0:10:49.2 S2: Before, I think the Wix, I have dark hair, so the wax worked really well in covering it, but it does wash out really fast, like a couple of washes and it's going, but that was great for me 'cause I didn't wanna have it permanently, but just carrying us, if you ever itineraries or anything, it didn't put... My brush, I had to get a new one. Okay, that... Yeah, no clothing notes. Nothing but my brush. That's still herbal. Yeah, let's get into our lovely letter, this one is coming from the call you van, if you're listening, we are so excited when we get a letter, you don't have any idea were like texting each other like, Oh, it's on your rituals, send them in, you can DM us on social media. You can go to our website and fill out the form. It's anonymous, we love hearing from you and to us and said, Dear Avery, RO and no, since all of you are partnered and thoughtful, I was on... Were thoughtful. I was wondering if I was for a nor divergent person with a new or diversion partner, I've had a diagnosed anxiety disorder for seven years, and my husband has had diagnosed ADHD for about 20.


0:12:02.7 S2: We lived together for the last five years in the past to have felt chaotic and 800 square feet during the pandemic can relate to that. I get along well, but our space is limited, to put it mildly, I know that my husband does an excellent job of making dinner and taking out the trash, but has a hard time keeping up with other chores, and they tend to fall to me. We live with a mountain of his clothes and piles of papers throughout our space, I'm a bit more organized, but not a perfectionist, I'd like him to help out more, I'd like to help him more, but I realized that in the 12 years we've been together, he doesn't keep track of his own belongings too. Well, I also don't know if it's a pandemic brain fog or if I might also have ADHD, but it's all starting to get hard to keep up comfortable and uncluttered. Living without a ton of effort, I feel like I'm constantly forgetting everything, I'm really not trying to self-diagnose, and we'll be addressing this with my doctor in a few months, but I have a suspicion my diagnosis may change.


0:12:52.7 S2: Any advice for figuring out a good balance of cutting clutter and respecting both ner divergences, I can't wait to listen to more of your episodes, all the best view year are... Yeah, I feel like everyone is dealing, especially if you have family and kids in the space when we were all locked down, and even when the lockdown is lifted, I still couldn't go very many places... I think a lot of people were in the same boat.


0:13:19.8 S1: Yeah, and then you add a lot of anxiety issues and whether that anxiety is triggered by clutter, which it may or may not be that different for people, and with ADHD, possibly not even noticing the clutter, there's a lot kind of to go with her. I have my own special brain, but it is... I am neurotypical, so all of this comes from somebody who is not neuro divergent, so there is that... So take everything I've got with the Salt Lake. A couple of things that I have, tips I have seen from folks who are ADHD or do deal with anxiety, which are different things and where... But some tips that I've seen that make a little organizer part of me just incredibly happy and go, Oh my god, that's fucking brilliant. Things like see through bins, you can get a target. So they're like the little see-through filing cabinet bins that can stack high, so that if you're limited in floor space, maybe you can go vertical, and that could be a thing where maybe you can see what's in there without having to kind of dive into it, if you're not ready. Or if he's not ready, so maybe you know what, the red case with the CE through cabinets is for papers, so trying to go that way.


0:14:55.2 S1: That may help. I know folks that that does help who have ADHD because if it goes in a cabinet, like say, for example, a regular filing cabinet and they can't see it anymore, then it doesn't sections, it's that see-through aspect of it, that is super helpful. Another thing, sorry, speaking of tiktok, there is a clean cleaning tiktok-type domestic list, I don't know, English accent, and she's always telling people to relax about how I... I... That's a different area. Cleaning. Okay, so this one, she's always like... She's really calming. I hate this organization, but I am a shit cleaner, so I find her very reassuring. I straightened, but I don't clean. And she's like, You know, do what you can, do what you can. And that's really important is to be able to accept the fact that your level of cleaning or your level of organization doesn't have to meet somebody else as well, it is leading your personal needs. Yeah, absolutely. If you are, it sounds like these needs are not exactly being met at this point in time, just simply because of the amount of it, so I get that, but I just wanna offer that is care other little piece of advice that I have heard that is helpful.


0:16:27.8 S1: Is to take clothing. For example, you said that you got Monocle, if you can possibly go get a big bin, a couple of pig pens, shirts and in Jordan in... Don't worry about folding, can worry about organizing it, just get it in those slots, if that's possible, if that works, and then if maybe you can divide those out by like say stuff just for winner, so if it's already in a bind and you know it's for winter, you just pop the little on that and you don't worry about it. Right. Or some people I know with dressing anxiety, which I know sounds weird, but a lot of heavier, they turn 16 different outfits before they walk out of their closet, paring down into capsule style, three colors you really like, three colors really like, and those are your colors or maybe it's more, but that's the basic idea, is to pair down into that... Doing a palette. Yeah, like having a palate I wear... I don't know. Red white, N.


0:17:45.2 S2: We have a friendly... We have a friend who does. Is Robin coming ton, right?


0:17:49.7 S1: Yeah, that's where he got the red, black and white or... Right, that's it.


0:17:52.9 S2: And everything she has, everything goes together, it's... And you have a fast statement pieces that's Manhasset-ing different... Like a jacket or something. But anything can be paired up with anything and it's... Yeah.


0:18:05.1 S1: And it's a lot, much stressful. And Robin does it first, I think for speeding also, just 'cause she's Robins stubborn and overly colors she likes, I could say that to my estate, so it is... Those may help, and again, please, this is not exactly an area of expertise for me, so very questionable advice, but if it helps... I have heard that those are helpful tips, rather colitis are universities or... Great tips. I am actually neuro-diverse, and so are my kids. I have obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, dyslexia, audio processing disorder, and then my youngest has sensory processing disorder, and my oldest just got diagnosed with ADHD, which... My sister has it, my dad has it. My spouse is just... He's like, You have it. Go to the doctor, I'm like, Okay, fine. After the pandemic, when they're not so overwhelmed with everyone else, maybe I'll go see about it. I already have a list of other things though. Do we need to add on more? But


0:19:15.7 S2: Probably I would have been over achiever here.


0:19:18.4 S1: Yeah, we don't need everything. Honey, let's leave. Some of the neuro-diversity is for everyone. Opening B, I can, I totally feel you. I also feel you... 'cause my spouse is a bit messier and a bit more of a clutter bug, and I am... I'm always trying to take things out of the house and get rid of them, and he's always like, but I need that, I'm like, But this shirt has five holes in it, you can't wear in any more poles, get rid of it. And certainly in the pandemic, when we've been all shoved together and 247, here's just a few of the things that have helped us and worked for us, probably my favorite one is we decided that we have a me night, if you've seen my instagram, you'll see every Wednesday night, I call it my me night, my self-care, after we put the kids to bed, he goes down to the basement and watches his superhero shows, whatever he's watching, and I stay upstairs with my martini and I watch a horror movie and it's delightful 'cause I don't like to each... He doesn't like horror movies, so we have our me nights on Wednesday night, that's our self-care nights, we both separate different rooms of the house, and we do whatever we wanna do for the whole night and have our alone time, even though we're all stuck in the house, we find a separate part of the house and we have our time to do whatever we want.


0:20:47.2 S1: It's been wonderful. I love it. So that's my suggestion for obviously, you don't have to do martinis and horror movies, do whatever you wanna do, but find one night a week where you just get some you time somewhere, even if it's just closing yourself off in the bathroom for a bubble bath, that is great, I love them.


0:21:14.4 S2: Even if you can't re a small space, they said 810, which is not too small, but if you're in a small studio apartment or whatever, you can even just sit the offices into the couch with your laptop and you're moving on you... You know what I mean? Fasteners enjoy a Eeyore pillow for whatever you gotta do. Yeah.


0:21:33.6 S1: Yeah, that's a cute on tiktok. One of the I follow a few Neuro divergent creators, one is called domestic bliss, where she does all kinds of tips for ADHD cleaning and stuff, and keeping up the house, one of my favorite ones, 'cause our vegetables and fruits were always going back... Always love this one. My, the love strawberries, but they would go bad 'cause she would forget to eat and the one who has ADHD, and so this person's advice was, take everything out of those drawers, don't use those stores during the drawers, you're gonna forget about them, put your condiments in those drawers 'cause condiments last for months, put the vegetables and fruit on the shelf where you can see them ever since we started that. No, Ron strawberries, 'cause my kid opens the fridge when she's hungry, whom they're right there at eye level, she grabbed... Many can have strawberries. Yeah, right there, go get A... Graben the whip cream. Exactly, and they grab the with gravesend to put them with cream in the drawers with me to... Yeah, that one away. List have also been helpful. We had huge problems getting the kids to help us clean and stuff like that, and...


0:22:53.3 S1: So instead of saying, Oh my gosh. This house is really dirty. We need to clean it. Another tip I found was, okay. This house is really dirty. I'm going to clean up the Barbie dolls. Okay, kids clean up all the Barbie dolls, so all they have to do is grab the bar Beals once the barbels are clean, okay, kids grab all the laundry and put it in this basket right here, so doing tasks one at a time, so it doesn't overwhelm your brain... Because yeah, if you're going into a room and you're like, I need to clean this room. And you start grabbing all the dishes, but then you see that the laundry needs to be done to... So you put the dishes down and then you're on the laundry, and our brains just see a new task, so to stay focused, give it one task on a list so that you can check it off. Checking off the list. So I finally, I love it.


0:23:42.4 S2: I love the replenishing tiktok where they show people restocking the refrigerator or restocking... Have you seen that? Have you not seen that? I have


0:23:51.4 S1: Not other little drawers and stuff like that, I sometimes take something out, see I love that simply because I live with teenage boys and they medics and leave it empty boxes and it makes me kill people, not a potential... Like really the head...


0:24:07.2 S2: He's like, the toilet paper ferries come in and replaces... I'm like, no, they didn't. Pottery, I think both of you guys have touched on things that I do around here, I'm nor divergent, but I get overwhelmed if I have way too many things like Maria to do. So what I try making list, let's don't really work for me, but what I'll do is say, like I say it's Friday and something's been bothering... Was on a Monday morning when I get up, I'm going to do this thing. So all weekend, I start thinking of how I wanna do that thing. Is the best way of doing that thing? It's just like a thing is it almost gets me excited to do it, so by the time Monday rolls around, I'm like, okay, I was gonna do that thing, let's get that taken care of, and then when it's done, the sense of accomplishment is like, Oh my God, but it was just one thing. It's like one thing and then, Okay, that's done, what's the next thing? And I start planning how I'm gonna do that thing, and all the steps I'm gonna go through, it's like the planning gets me excited, and then the execution, so that I feel like I've accomplished something rather than just going, Oh, I don't know, it's too much.


0:25:08.3 S2: There's too much to do, pick up one thing, and then once you accomplish that one thing, you bathe in that sense of a compliment and then start planning the next thing that you wanna tackle... Please attorneys in a open Aadhaar bins. I also use clear bins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah.


0:25:27.9 S1: I thought that was such a brilliant idea, that was actually the behalf of kit Rosa on Twitter, she was talking about it one day, and she had mentioned that they do that, and I was like, Oh my God, I love that I do as an organizer person I love that idea. But yeah, I was like, I can totally see how that would be helpful. Totally, it's also.


0:25:54.1 S2: I know a lot of creatives like controlled chaos around them, and I know I'm one of those people, you could walk in my office and there's stuff on the door and there's stuff over here, my husband walks in and he's like, How do you... Where is this? I'm like, It's right there that I met exactly where it is. If you move in, if you organize it or fix it, I'm gonna get like, Oh, but I think it feeds my creativity to have a little bit of chaos around me, as long as it's like stuff that I can control and I'm aware of that is our case it's your chaos, and it's like, you know, it's your chaos, you know, rather than someone...


0:26:27.8 S1: I call this the dirty shower, so... Oh yeah, I've heard you tell about this Pryor shower, you walk in you or shower and it's not always clean, I'm sure you two are lovely clean people, but everyone show gets dirty. Okay, and you look at it and you're like, Oh my God, no, I gotta clean this. But you take your shower and you're not grossed out, you're not freaked out, you go to hotel, and there's a lot to match of a hint of a hair that was possibly there once and you're grossed out of the belief. That's what it is. It's your chaos if you order each hour at the red...


0:27:07.3 S2: That's a great analogy.


0:27:08.3 S1: Absolutely, whatever your journey shower is, we... We've hopefully at least a little bit, and I will say listeners, please, if you have tips for this, please do share them on social media, tag us, we're happy to amplify this, this is...


0:27:35.0 S2: I think a lot of people are dealing with the same thing, newer diversion or nuclear dealing with the same thing. And I know Ron would say, Sit down and talk about yoshihiro, what would be as saying it's a given that they've been talking about it, but I think compromising, finding ways to compromise like, These are my hard nose, these are my soft news, these are my... I'm okay, you know what I mean? In goes... And I sort of eliminating the things that are really, really pulling you both out of yourselves, I think it would help.


0:28:06.9 S1: And being able to figure out to sort of like... Maybe it's an old plastic laundry basket or something by the front door, I tosses in there as soon as you walk it, 'cause what you wanna do when you walk in your Ashland, take off your shoes, Les, pop them in there, and at least it's controlled chaos as opposed to the shoes being there and then the Sox being there and then... So that may help as well.


0:28:32.3 S2: It's amazing. One little thing will help. I got a Mr. X works out a lot. And so he would put his... He didn't wanna put his wet work out clothes in the hamper, so he would leave them on the basement stairs or toss them in the corner in the basement, and then I'd go down to do laundry and I like... It's like pile was... I got him a separate little hamper just inside the basement door, so that was both... He could just put them in there and it works. I was like, Oh, error amounts of Littoral. One little thing sometimes can be the huge difference... Yeah, I once dirty shower. That is easy. UV, you will find is you find. So hopefully.


0:29:17.9 S1: Yes, so please everyone, be like re and send in your letters and you were looking for relationship advice, friend advice, secrets, questions, concerns.


0:29:28.1 S2: Just one of them. We're evening.


0:29:31.5 S1: Yeah, we're much better than catching a felony. Okay, yes, we are an felonies, right?


0:29:39.9 S2: To her.


0:29:40.5 S1: To reminder. I think that should be our 22, that should be our new tag to get the questionable device, if you're feeling alone, feeling Iloilo in for low... My God, your searching ponnani MoUs Google. Let us help you. It's not as easy to cover up her husband's murderers and we... We take this step first... This is your first step. Alright, so thank you very much for letter, thank you guys for the current advice, we talked a little bit about something silly that has happened so far in 2022, but since this is our first episode of her, I wanted to ask you guys if you have goals are there things you're looking forward to this year. Are there things you're grateful for, do you have little mantras or anything else that you're like, This is my year of...


0:30:39.2 S2: I wanna hear more.


0:30:42.0 S1: So I don't do goals, I don't do goals or mantras or manifestations, I think that is my most hated... Actually, I hate the word manifestation.


0:30:53.3 S2: It's all over tiktok. I think all of those, like I use the sound and a management event of this.


0:31:00.9 S1: I don't like it because it discounts all the hard work that people put in behind the scenes, especially authors, my goal of this year is to get through it. Right. Yeah, think with every year, I try to be better than I was the last year. I try to be a better writer, I try to be a better person. A better parent, a better partner. I'm just always trying to improve myself, educate myself on the world around me, and just try and be better than I was last year and try and make the world better than it was last year, that's always my goal for every year that I try to do, and hopefully, I succeed. I don't know, I just try to make things better. That's always... My strive for the New Year is driven. I think that's a grateful, but it's not a goal, it's a great uncle on... Clearly on wonder land and un-birthday, it's an un... Goalies.


0:32:17.4 S2: I don't... We talked about resolutions and stuff like that in the last episode, and people... Was the word of the year, they'll put like a writer, my word for this year is four to two or whatever it is, and I think whatever works for you is fantastic, I don't... May not do anything for me. But if that's something that you can latch on to, you and that will help you get to your goal. Or get to whatever you're trying to get. I think it's fantastic. But for me, I think I'm grateful that I'm still able to do what I love to do, and then I'm healthy enough to do it because I've seen so many people over the last two years lose their livelihood, lost their loved ones, and I've lost people, and so it's like I'm just grateful to still be here and that got a lot of people that I love and care about are still here, and I'm looking forward to being able to see more people, like last year, we sort of ventured out a little bit, and I think by this year, we all thought, Okay, we'll be vaccines out, we'll be...


0:33:23.0 S2: We passed it, a lot of it. And we'll be able to visit family and stuff like that, and then it feels like we've taken a couple of steps backwards, so I'm hoping that the rest of the year we'll be able to get back to seeing people and probably Muslim missing writers. I'm just thinking out with writers and events and state writing conferences and readers, I missed that sort of environment, so... Yeah, what I'm looking forward to. So please, 2022. Be better than your sorority.


0:34:00.4 S1: That's me. How about you? I am


0:34:03.7 S2: So you read for now, 'cause you're... I can be read for Mahler.


0:34:07.0 S1: Not gonna be read for much for. Okay, 'cause Riley's gonna come and fix my hair, I don't give me a haircut, I'm tapping booking how or not super short. Just probably a... Terni will tell you though, what I really wanna do, and I'm trying to stop myself from doing is called the French Bob, which have had before and I absolutely love it, and that's where you hope the banks, you know that code to your eyebrow, and then it's cut so curls... And which one comes? Like write your Capone, I love it. It's one of my favorite hair cuts, but... I'm trying not to do it. I do it. I don't know, I have a hairy back of the neck, and I have a calling in the back Minto, whenever I get short hair, it's actually quite a bit of update for me, it's less upkeep for me to have long hair than short hair, so that's more than you wanted to know. But there we go, portray, that's all you should know is my forays. Really... And what she has to deal with, I had... She's actually super, super sweet. I like her a lot for 2022, I think.


0:35:20.1 S1: Okay, I've said this before, but this chair I'm gonna stick to it is to allow myself to... Because I do love golf, I love those crazy... But to stop trying to set goals according to what I think I should be able to accomplish, as opposed to what I am realistically able to accomplish, so I think I should be able to do... So therefore, I'm gonna set X as a goal. I need to not do that. Yes, that is... I'm trying to be more realistic about limits, I also have instituted coffee and cuddle time every morning at my house, and I actually quite love it, The Ely it is one cup of coffee and tiktok on the couch in my office with the dogs, and they start staring at me when I don't open up my office door fast enough not to the


0:36:24.0 S2: Alcohol... They are adorable. Are so cute to


0:36:29.5 S1: Me. You my three things realistic in realistic coffee and cattle and see people again, I think all would be good. I actually do have events scheduled already this year, and


0:36:43.9 S2: I'm just content really nervous because my first one is the first weekend in March, and I don't think that that's going to happen a week 'cause they just... Was a coastal... Coastal magic just made there, readjust it, it, and the one that I'm supposed to go through it the weekend after that, and it's also in Florida, and so... Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen. I rather be safe. I'd rather save and we can see you when we see you, but then you... Everyone at risk.


0:37:13.8 S1: I don't think my first one is to like July, I think so, hopefully. And it's in Colorado, so I don't have to get on a plane or anything. Just erosive up to the city. There you go.


0:37:29.4 S2: This... I was so envious of people flying around me, I know a lot of offers who traveled last year, and I'm like, you're braver than you.


0:37:37.2 S1: So that's amazing. I think we all... I think that really was one thing of last year and probably this year as well, is weighing those risks and looking and saying, Okay, well, what makes sense with everything that I've got in my family and the people that are exposed and people who are may be exposed to... And how will that impact others around me... So most of the folks that I know that have done more trips have been folks that basically isolate at home, so it's like one of those where they're like, I don't worry about bringing something on to my 70-year-old mother or... Those types of things. Or their kids or whatever. Maybe


0:38:19.9 S2: It's cool. Have to show you guys this thing, I totally forgot about it. We don't do gifts for the holidays, but we do stocking suffers, and one of the ones that I got... I see if I can show it to you. This is a rose apothecary caiman, Beekman, 1802 did the line of Rosetti Cary stuff. So the lip on, and I got this glass hand lotion or soap dispenser that I'm find something really cool to put in, but I was like, I'm good at or I was a police... If guys don't know what I'm talking about is from shits creek. And if you have to watch that show that I don't know who you are, but you... Ashgabat roses, a wonderful little store, so yeah, they did a really cool job with the packaging and everything, but it's the lip omits by the register, wealthy...


0:39:08.6 S1: Are the mis here? Oh.


0:39:10.5 S2: They had done mine, I wish they'd done mints to the... Maybe some


0:39:14.7 S1: Shells had never watched it before, and I of course watched it like four or five times, I love us so much, and we were looking for a new show to watch. I'm like, Do you wanna watch shits creek with me? And so we between been binging like four or five episodes a night, he's like, this show... It was amazing. I'm like, I know. I told you now, and if you haven't watched to just get past like Episode 3, and you Hassett is the thing I always tell folks is, give yourself a couple of episodes, it takes a bit to... Once you warmed up, you're just someone with your popcorn 'cause you're not leaving your couch...


0:39:53.5 S2: Yeah, I think... I think we put it down for the time like it's a book, you stopped watching it the first time we tried, and then everyone was still talking about it is is Okay, ELs, give it another shot. And then someone recommended that... I actually said, Skip the entire first season. But I think we went in halfway through and we're like, Oh my God, this is amazing.


0:40:11.0 S1: It really is such a good show.


0:40:13.0 S2: But if you want the lip AM and the Spencer, it's from become in 1802, and they have it on their website, yelverton sponsored to enclose. Just really not an... Coming here, not fun. I'm here now.


0:40:29.8 S1: I got a shit creek towing my stocking this year. Yes, and then I did, and then I used a few routes... Our family does white elephant exchange. I love that. And so I had a couple of shits creek towels. I'm like talking to my sisters, I'm like, You guys are gonna find over this 'cause we'll just send each other shit creek gifts all day long, all day. I love that he... The stickers are all over my computer, I have a shit creek mouse pad. My sister gave me elapsed.


0:41:04.3 S2: We went to the wine tasting in upstate New York last year, where the wine, the flights were named after the members of the family or the Roos family. So it was really good. I was like, it's just like a trade work and you're like, Can you do this? But it was really, really... I don't see that ever. The winery, I wanna get them in trouble. But it was very cool. I was like, I'll have the Alexis and the David and the morning Dateline, the wine and not to label that was my...


0:41:32.8 S1: That was my favorite episode 'cause I'm pansexual, and so to see David like explain it just so beautiful, Sicilian. It was the first time I'd ever see a pansexual character in the media, and so I was like tearing up as like, Oh.


0:41:49.4 S2: We have to talk about scam. But we'll do that another time.


0:41:52.6 S1: Oh my God, I just settle back. You are gonna end up watching the sweetest show.


0:42:02.3 S2: No region or We did


0:42:03.8 S1: You... She's gonna kick my ass at on the same... What's goalless?


0:42:21.2 S2: One of the characters from the show was Lois it on Netflix or not... Now, we call ourselves the Google Drive fandom because that's the only way you watch it so he can talk.


0:42:32.2 S1: Yes, yeah, you're gonna need a hook-up basic, you need a... Outright, I will tell you this, and so don't just abuse me if I'm rebut in my head, it's like a naughty Scandinavian Degrassi high. Alright, that from when she has described it to me, that's when its second my head as and that's probably nowhere near what it is, but I like to keep that in my mind.


0:42:59.1 S2: It gets compared to that. And skinned UK skin. Okay.


0:43:03.4 S1: So I'm not that enough.


0:43:04.5 S2: It's not like are the shows other than... It's stronger. A lot of shows that are on now, like young royals and even euphoria and some of these other shows are borrowing from it and Metis to someone who's into any of these other shows, they go, Oh my God, and I'm like... 'cause a show SCOM ended in 2017, there's other versions around the world that are still running with the original ended five years ago. My god, five years. So they see it and they go, Oh, that's your end is... That's whatever, that's this and... And I'm like, Yep, it came from skate origin story of the origin


0:43:39.7 S1: Dorothea. Yeah, she will hook you in a... AAAS been


0:43:47.1 S2: A rate.


0:43:47.4 S1: Love having you. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It was wonderful.


0:43:52.0 S2: Tell everybody again, where they can find your social and your books and everything else.


0:43:56.4 S1: You can find me on my website, Maria Income dot com, and I am on all the social medias as Maria in Kamen, I'm on tiktok, mostly Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. I think I still have a Pinterest account on... Never on the Amazon. I'm gonna stop you for a second. Spell your last name. Yeah, so that when they look you up, they don't mock it up like I do every time. So my first name is Marian with an age where I carried the singer, but I cannot sing like her... She's far more talented. And the last name is A-N-K-E-N-M-A-N. Yes, I realized I should have gotten a pen name and no, no one could spell it or say it, and I'm now I'm like, Oh, I should have gone like with Mariah heart or something. No.


0:44:45.7 S2: No, no, no, I love your name on... You need... And it's uniquely you, you're such a unique person, and if you guys are on tiktok, you really do need to follow her because she's such a joy, such a joy to lunch, and I love that you're cross posting your videos on Instagram. I've noticed them yet. You really don't wanna do a tiktok. You can get insurance, I post all my tiktok onto reels like a day later, I don't have the energy to make two different sets of content... I'm


0:45:11.8 S1: Sorry. No. You've got books to write. Show us that hot cover again. Yes, this... You're dating Tolima. This is technically my book backpack 'cause I don't have print copies yet, but that was cool. I love that. And isn't it, I call it my introvert advertisement, I just slap my... 'cause this is just a sticker that I replace every new cover, and then I just walk around the book cons or the grocery store, and I attend, it's like a book, the backpack.


0:45:42.2 S2: And I I...


0:45:43.0 S1: I Thackeray cool on that. And then inside, it's got a little slot for my laptop and stuff, it's so nice is my spouse got it for me years ago from thinking, which sadly went under... I used to love


0:45:57.4 S2: The... I still have a ton of monkey stickers lying around here somewhere. 'cause we were out every time you order something that was intentional to do the stickers.


0:46:04.8 S1: I love them, and now they're not around anymore, and people like... I think you can find the backpack on eBay maybe.


0:46:12.5 S2: But I haven't found any other retailer that sells it, so I'm like... I'm thinking, I got it, and they were still here


0:46:18.6 S1: At a same to me. Alright, so the dating element will be as well, another evening with a little hot parenthesis with simple and awkward heroines who talk out loud when they don't mean to, because it's just not a merit incoming book if there's not awkward DES involved. But don't worry, there's plenty of steam too, 'cause I... Einstein, my editor was like, you know, we can add another steamy seen in here if you want. I'm like, Okay, adding another... To see its Ethernet, another one. In that time, I think it's like, we're fine in this book, there's a lot... Okay, alright, so it doubles in self-care... All that. Self-care times too. Yes. Alright, thank you so much for joining us to such... For having me. Yeah, we love having... No.


0:47:24.2 S2: Well, we'll be back with a new episode. When next week, I guess, vertebra with a new one, next week as


0:47:34.0 S1: We... And should we give a preview to our guests is next week... Oh yes, yes, go ahead. Next week, we are having a fab JC lessening of awesome books and meaning people


0:47:48.2 S2: That let that have people like Maria and JC and everyone that's been on here has been incredible. We started this for just shits and giggles basically, and they were like, Maybe we should start inviting people on, not knowing that every would be so cool about it and just come hang out with us. So


0:48:07.1 S1: We love having you. Thank you. So Euler, and be sure to go download the dating dilemma and have a good time tonight, and they also come back and join us next week with JC Lee and don't forget to send in your letter. Rulers, thank you so much for subscribing to Dear romance writer. Remember to keep sending in those letters in dermatitis dot com, we can't wait to tell you what to do. Dorrance writer is part of the frolic Podcast Network. Find more podcasts you love, framed podcast.

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