0:00:11.8 S1: Welcome to Dr. Romance writer were three writers who always deliver happily ever after offer questionable advice for all of your relationship work and life problems. Iranian, I am Axelrod y'all. This is our last episode of season one, thank you very much for speaking with us. We appreciate it. We're doing the wave are... We did it. Thank you. So we thought it would be kind of fun later in the episode, we're gonna talk about this year and what you guys can expect for the next season a little bit, but we wanted to kick it off since this is our last episode of the year to talk about resolutions. Do you all make them?
0:01:03.6 S2: You make a motion. I don't make resolutions per se, I do set goals for myself or the funnier, but not like you... On the down. No.
0:01:16.4 S1: Oh really? I like to... Okay, if you're not watching live is like making me very emphatic... No, absolutely. No, families. Yeah, yeah. Okay, wait, so can I ask you a follow-up question then? I feel like they are a huge generalization incoming, there are the image resolution people and the I do not make resolutions people, and in the category of not making resolutions, what to you is the distinction between making resolutions and making goals? Setting goals.
0:01:58.1 S2: I think resolution has a weight to it, like a guilt to it, if you don't achieve it, people are like, I'm gonna lose 20 pounds, and it's usually... 'cause a lot of times it's like, Wait, laws or fitness or whatever. Do all the ads or join Planet Fitness and all this other stuff. Peloton, they're already starting. But those kinds of resolutions to me seemed to carry more weight of like, If you don't achieve it, you failed somehow. Right. Whereas a goal is a goal. It's just that it's like, This is what I want to do. I may only get half way, but that's still achievement... Totally, that's in my mind, that's how I separate the two. So resolution, my resolution is not to do whatever, I'm not gonna eat
0:02:48.7 S1: That I feel like a resolution is negative or closed and a goal is positive, and I... If I make the difference that way, I see resolution as being almost more vague, it really... It is sort of a yang, so it's like at the same point in time, it's different than a big cargo, but it is like just saying The Weight Loss one, I am a lose weight this year, or I to do this this year, but there are no steps to get there. And to me, goals are more realistic and achievable, and there is an obvious path to get there, so let's take... Even though I think it's bullshit, let's take the... I'm gonna lose 20 pounds, right? Maybe that's your goal for whatever it is, right, if you're setting that as a resolution, it's... That's it. But if you're setting it as a goal, it can be, I'm going to skip the Bacon, Egg and Cheese, they go from McDonald's every day, which by the way, I love Neves business, and I'm gonna have a wait home, right. Even something as supposed, I'm to make that same thing, but I'm gonna make it at home, or I'm gonna go 50000 steps every day, so it's like these actual realistic, obtainable opportunities for progress is how I see a goal.
0:04:25.0 S1: They see, a resolution is just sort of this big vague thing
0:04:29.1 S2: To what those... I flip those 'cause resolutions usually were the hardcore things, like hard written in stone type goals, I was like, I'm gonna do this in 30 days, I'm gonna stop this, or I'm gonna do that, and it was like, If you didn't stop or didn't do, then you broken your resolution
0:04:51.8 S1: It... We need our listeners to a
0:04:55.3 S2: Right to
0:04:56.4 S1: Early curious. Allow me, if you will, to read to you from Marian Webster. Oh, it's our boyfriend.
0:05:07.5 S2: Into Real Book boyfriend. That's amazing.
0:05:11.4 S1: Yeah, that's the hottest thing you've ever said, every New Year's resolutions have existed since the early 19th century, and perhaps as far back as the late 17th century, it's unclear what exactly you began to pledge to ourselves, What in the coming year we would do... Oh, sorry. This is not very well written. Okay, a 1671 entry from the diaries of an hellcats, the 17th century when every white woman was named and a writer and member of the Scottish Gentry, it contains a number of pledges typically taken from Biblical verses, such as I will not offend anymore. How get titled this page resolutions and wrote them on January second, which would possibly indicate that the practice was in use at the time, even if people didn't refer to it as new year's resolutions. So that's the 17th century. Then it was common enough by the beginning of the 19th century that people would make such resolutions that the habit was... That the habit was satirized. So an article from Walker's Bernie and magazine in 1802 states that the following persons have begun the year with a strong of resolutions which they all saw only pledged to keep before enumerating a series of obviously fictitious resolutions, such as Statesman have resolves to have no other object in view than the good of their country, the physicians have determined to follow nature in her operations and to prescribe no more than it's necessary, I'd be very moderate in their fees.
0:06:36.7 S1: Is a shelter. Hadiths, the words New Year began to appear after resolution. The full phrase, New Year's resolutions, was first found in the January first issue of a Boston newspaper from 1813 by an unknown author. I'm skimming, I'm skimming. Yeah, okay, so basically, since the 17th century, and they are based in the Bible, which is not a shock to anyone because what... Shame isn't... Interesting, that
0:07:18.4 S2: As a I... The word that stuck out for me there was pledged, it's a pledge, it was a heart and stone written Stone thing, and if you broke it... Yeah, yeah, that's how I think of resolutions. So that's why I do that were as a goal.
0:07:35.1 S1: It... Cool. I also do not make New Year's resolutions and never have, and i don't really make goals either in terms of the new year, I definitely make quarterly goals, what I'm thinking about, what I'm gonna do book-wise, but a practice that I have actually taken up recently in the last three or four years, and I got this from a friend of mine, is having a thought or vision or idea or question that you will try to keep in mind throughout the year, and then you change it every year based on where your heart lies or your curiosity lives... So one year, I think hers was kindness, so she was feeling that the world was very unkind and that she was having a hard time meeting other people with kindness, and so she was like, This is my kind of word of the year is gonna be kindness where it's not just about your actions either, it's about your contemplation, so it's like in certain moments when people are being unkind to me, I'm gonna think about kindness and what it means, or if someone is kind to me, I'm gonna appreciate that and think about the kindness...
0:08:45.1 S1: So I really like that, and I feel like it's a cool way to have a sort of theme that both honors, like you have to choose it, so it's coming out of the previous year. Obviously, you're not just randomly. Gonna pick E-walk as your work if you don't have any history. If you're really into stormwater, is my resolution, a great tree.
0:09:06.9 S2: People are picking their work people like I noticed last year age before was a lot of picking their word of the year, and you'll probably see it around this time that this episode airs people on Twitter will start putting my word for 2022 is striker focus or whatever it is. And I think that's along the lines of what you're talking about.
0:09:24.4 S1: I think so too, which I like 'cause it's sort of is taking what you've been through this past year and using that to set your intentions for the next or which I like the word intention is better than even even... I like it. Yeah, that's a good one, 'cause it's all about... There are certain things you can't control, but I think you can really control your intentions, but... Yeah, so I don't have anything, I haven't picked my words theme yet, but when I do, I will certainly take to Twitter and tell everyone and let people feel like they're failing somehow in comparison to Osama loveth that... Oh man, too funny. So he can't really gonna read our letter, I would love to get with the kitty cat voices. Oh my gosh, so I will read our letter because Dorian Gray has jumped off my lap, the trader, and you know it's so terribly bad thing because I'm so sorry to announce that she is a bad reader, she's not arbitrator in... When you're named after a famous literary character, you rebel through literacy, so screw her only job is a... Not. Alright, so I think that this letter is a great pick because it specifically addresses an issue that is likely to come up around the holidays, I think, and this is an issue that I've been very interested in because my sister and her wife had a kid a few years ago, and this was not a thing that I'd really thought of before then, and now I'm just aware of seeing it everywhere, so this is from our favorite trove of asphalt is, am I the asshole? And the letter goes like this, at my...
0:11:19.8 S1: The asshole for telling my dad he can't post pictures of my newborn baby, his grandchild on social media, so I just gave birth to my son and second child, and I've decided that aside from the posts on my private social media accounts announcing his arrival, I would not be posting him going forward for the time being, even though my social media accounts are private, I still don't feel comfortable at this early stage of my son's life exposing him to social media as much, and I don't like to post my other child who's three much either. I was on the phone with my dad and he asked me to send in pictures of my son, I agreed under the condition that he not post any of them to a social media, a cat, he became very, slightly irate and told me that quote... I wasn't gonna take away the pride he has for his grandson or take away his shine, and I told him that I understand what he means, but I'm not comfortable with posting my son on social media and explained that he can express his pride without having to both post pictures of him, and as long as he's seen or receiving pictures of him, then that's all that should matter, because I don't live my life for social media or care for people that are not directly involved in my army child's life to see them.
0:12:28.6 S1: And if he couldn't respect my conditions and reasoning that I would not send the pictures, kalan told me he doesn't want the pictures anymore, and the phone call ended a roughly
0:12:41.5 S2: Miss grandpa Baganda, Lance and Grandpa has some issues.
0:12:48.8 S1: Like, Here's what I think, okay, what is lightened ESS intention that I can have of this... On the grandparents perspective is, there are some people who use like, let's say, Facebook, and it is honestly getting on the phone and having that conversation with their really good front... Right, so there are like My mother is... Again, mom, if you're listening, turn it off and go away, you're not lab list of us, but if my mom uses Facebook, she found people she went to high school with and all of this stuff, and so for her, it literally is the exact same thing as picking up the phone or going out to coffee and showing the pictures from the wallet and all of that stuff, that is how... Some people use social media at first was thinking, Well, this is a generational thing, but I don't think it is, 'cause I think there are people of all generations who do use it like this, and I think there are also people who use social media but are more aware that the Internet is for effort, and that people see things that you don't always intend for them to see, and that there are privacy issues and all sorts of things like that, and plus...
0:14:24.3 S1: I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I've definitely heard the stories of kids who may have started getting posted online when they were three or four doing really stupid things, you know, that were cute, but then that followed them into teenage... Dumb and early adulthood and... Oh yeah, I really don't wanna be that Charlie Bit My Finger kit. Right. So
0:14:47.1 S2: The kids who were in memes, like When MEANS first started, right? Yeah.
0:14:50.8 S1: Yeah. Yeah, I think... I think that you're totally right that there... There are people who use the internet that way, and I acknowledge that that's true and also don't care at all, because to them, I say, I do not care how you use social media, if a parent tells you that you do not have their permission to do something with their child, you don't have permission, it doesn't... And that's a huge difference. That's what thing is, it doesn't matter if you don't agree, it doesn't matter if you don't understand how the internet works, it doesn't matter if you think... But my friend from high school, who I haven't seen in 60 years, would never upload the picture of my granddaughter and a bathing suit to a porn site, you don't know, you actually have no idea, and you don't know who else has access to people's computers, and you don't know what people's intentions are, and if people aren't actually so ignorant and short-sighted that they cannot or un-creative that they cannot understand how something in a seemingly innocent can go wrong, I'm like a surprised they are alive as long...
0:16:02.4 S2: But I mean, he is just coming down to... No, there should be no reason for... No need for explanation. No, I'm not comfortable with it. That's it. The fact that he gets slightly IRA, which she's being kind, you can tell that he's trying not to make him sound like an asshole by saying slightly I rate... 'cause I rate in and of itself means that there were some raised voices or whatever, but yeah, I just... I'm not comfortable. So no, and him trying to pressure her into letting him do it... Alright, that's just inexcusable. Yeah, to me.
0:16:39.1 S1: Great. I think there are also societal expectations, and I do think that this is more generational on what types of interactions as far as a grouping are, and I guess the easiest example that I can think of with this are... Getting married. Okay, I don't know about you, but when I got married, there were invitations that I had to send out to people that I did not know, my husband didn't know because they were the friends of someone else with their parents, parents basically, and so those people had to get invitations had to be invited to the wedding. If they said yes, they were coming, so it was like... And these are people that had to be on your Christmas list if you send out cards and you like all of these things, and these are people you still to this day don't know.
0:17:40.2 S2: And my mother and people to my wedding that I didn't invite.
0:17:44.5 S1: So I think, Oh, my color, these people... But there are, I think there are some generational boundary issues with, well, this person matters in my life, so therefore they have to be a part of this activity or this picture, or whatever it may be, and I think sometimes it's hard when those things have to get separated and yes, in a huge way, that should just be a now because this is the parental child issue and the grandparent, God love them, it's not the parent more.
0:18:22.3 S2: My fall ask me every time I'm in an article or something. He asked me, Can I share this? Even if it's like a public thing, can I share this amazing man... Yeah, maybe there's generational, but maybe not as like this guy is just a one to shooting brag about his grandkids, what you know, and that's also my grandparents went back about their grandkids, but if your daughter is saying I'm not comfortable having my children online, that should be okay, I understand. I'll show them what I see him at the next reunion or all... Can I email him a picture and said or something at something, but just to be like, how very dare you not allowing me to do this thing?
0:19:03.8 S1: Yeah, right. And especially like, I don't know, I'd never go on Facebook anymore and less forced, but they used to at least have the setting where you can say who could see... And that may be too technologically advanced for some folks, but that could almost be like a happy medium to notation and Sarah and Joe Bob, so just set it to where they could see it, Yelp can see it.
0:19:30.4 S2: But even with a setting, they can still... Right, click and save that picture or color screen shot it.
0:19:39.4 S1: And this is why I feel like the... I totally get the generational divide thing, which I'm sure is sometimes going on, but I think that there's like... It's an issue of safety. To me, I mean, I read what I respect and respect. Yeah, those children can't give consent, they're not old enough, so it is up to the parents to serve as their proxy and to speak for them, and if you cannot know if a kid would want a picture of them on the internet... Literally, forever, it hurts no one to say no, whereas it could hurt them to say Yes, and if you don't know what's gonna happen to that picture, the safest thing is to say no, and this is not to shame anyone who shares pictures of their kids on social media, some people are totally fine with it. And I get that too, but I just am so flabbergasted at the fact that a grandparent who seemingly loves their grandkids would place the pains of like, I don't get to brag to my friends on Facebook over the potential safety or consent of the child. I'm like, I don't know, do you actually love them, that are undermining your own daughter's desire to protect whether she's being uneven, if you think she's been unreasonable...
0:21:04.9 S2: Right. This is her child. Right. And she's the parent, so, Okay, you're the mom, I respect your wishes. But that's not what happened. That's not what's happening. It and hung up on her. Call ended up replete wording of this email is so kind to re... The call ended abruptly, she didn't hang up on him. You know what I mean?
0:21:30.0 S1: Yeah, and I think sometimes I'm always interested in things between parents and grandparents about the child grandchild, because I think so much of that is playing out issues of parenting where the grandparent, the Paris parent, Gaither and silently laugh. The grandparent feels like when their kid does something with their grandchild that they didn't do with their own kid, they receive it as negative feedback to it, I'm making a different choice about my child and you made about me, and in so doing, I am rejecting the way you raised me, or registering a difference. And I think sometimes that's 100% true, and also sometimes it's like we as adults couldn't have known what we liked, didn't like, whatever, without having learned those lessons from our parents, and so with each generation, I feel like the goal is that we should reject the things that were harmful. Except the things that were great. And if that could happen, wouldn't that just mean that we were getting better as
0:22:41.7 S2: To... Yeah, there's a thing going around on tiktok, it's like a phrase where there's an African-American guy who he's talking about capital punishment beating your kids and stuff, and he says he's doing it to wet with another video, but they're talking about how they don't spank their kids because they're trying to break that chain of... Because your parents experience a trauma of it, and their parents experience the trauma of it, and so they're trying to break that chain, and the comments on that are like, your parents should have the right... Not the other stuff, but it was very much a learn... You could see the learned experience and how people were receiving, it's like I realized growing up, but that's not the way to treat kids, I'm not gonna do that, and others are like, This is the only way. You treat your kids, and I was like, Wow, this is such a... We're at a pill moment here where people are sharing their life experiences, and being a parent and being a grandparent and stuff like that, attends is one of the most complicated things that I've ever done in my life, because it's not all the regular crap with raising a kid is kind of crazy, but just as getting into a long-term relationship with somebody is not just a mix of those two people involved in relationship, it is all of the stuff that bring with them, it's their family.
0:24:11.7 S2: It's where they grew up. It's how they grew up in. Every single family in the world is bananas, but we are all bananas in a different way, right.
0:24:22.9 S1: So it's also mixing that little bit of bananas in with everything else, so you take that just in a long-term relationship between two grown adults, and that's complicated and they are layers upon layers, and it's difficult adding kids to that, and you get traditions just like... Exactly what you were talking about. Oh, this is the way it's always been done. So that's the way it should be done. Right, but you've got different family traditions to get mixed in with that you've got... For the longest time, I could not understand how my sister and I could be raised by the same woman, in the same environment with the same rules, and be completely different, and I'll tell you right now, I... In my three kids, I absolutely completely understand. Because that's just the way it is. They're all beard in different ways, but you also parent each trial differently because you target your parenting to what fits for that child, so that brings up the, Oh, he's the finger, you're always a here on her, right. But that's what it is, turning parenting, then you bring in the grandparents who have their own ideas on how things should be done, or offer advice when it's not asked, or don't offer advice when it is asked or are always involved or not involved, or...
0:25:55.0 S1: It's still dripping complicated. That quite frankly, I'm kind of amazed that we make it happen at all. So I see this and I see this letter, and it seems like a little... Very simple thing. I would imagine this is so stressful in her house, in the parents house and in the grandparents house, that it's not a crazy because I am sure what the grandparent takes this as is you would think I would harm my grandchild who I love. You don't want me to talk about... You want me to take my grandchild name out of my hat? No, and all of these things. So exactly what you said, wrote about it becomes not a statement, the facts, it becomes a judgment of your behavior, and so it's being able to step back and be able to see the other person's perspective, both from the grandparent perspective and from the parent perspective, and that's so incredibly difficult, and that's even before the kids are putting their own dumb opinions into this...
0:27:04.7 S2: It's all in Kitchener. I do not think she. Absolutely not.
0:27:09.4 S1: And I also know what this make... Go ahead, sorry, go ahead. Well, the other thing that always makes me think of when I hear people talk about this are then you've got the people who make their living off of their families on social media, and I am super curious in probably a little bit of a morbid way to see what the impact that has on those kids and what they come around with in 20 years and say.
0:27:41.8 S2: Yeah, I'm watching... So I watch, so you think I can... Dance is one of my favorite shows, and there is a couple, he is... His name is Steven boss. He goes by Twitch, she's an answer. Allison holker, who is now Alison boss, they were both on tilting in dance, I think in different seasons, met direct through the show. She had a young daughter, they got married now, they have two kids, and they were very protective of their kids, didn't show them on camera at first, the oldest girl a little bit, but now they've in corporate, they have this business called Boss family, that's her last name so boss, family business, all this dance, they do commercials, he's like a DJ on Ellen and all some stuff, but they've incorporated their kids now into their brand over the last year or so, even the littlest one to do dance videos together and all that stuff. And I've watched the girl, the teenage girl, she's now 13, grow up over the last few years, sort of like standing in the corner, and now she's got our own Instagram account, now she's posting your own stuff, and I'm really curious to watch her grow up and see how she develops, they see on paper to be really awesome people and really great parents and stuff like that, but I am really curious to see how these kids turn out growing up in the spot, even if it's not a big big spotlight, but it's still on social media every day, every day.
0:29:00.7 S2: They're on social media, so
0:29:03.0 S1: Yeah, I think there are as many ways to do social media as they're are anything else, and I certainly don't think that it has to be a hard and fast... Absolutely not ever. Kind of thing in order to keep your children safe, and I feel like... So what you're talking about is such a great example of someone who started out with one attitude, maybe gauge the responses that they were getting, or the way the kids felt, and as they got a little bit older, went and changed a little bit, but I feel like that is, it's a privilege to be kind of in your right mind enough and in control enough to be able to cope with that. And I feel like I'm reading this letter and I'm like, That's what this grandfather needs is a little bit of moderation. Right. Point of view of the mom who wrote the letter, I feel like she's like, I know that other people cannot be trusted to make the smart choices on an individual case by case basis, and because I can't trust them, I just have to say a hard and fast now, so that I'm just controlling it from the get-go, and I feel like there are so many things that are like that, where you're like, It's not that I'm actually totally against this, is that I don't...
0:30:16.8 S1: I don't trust people to act right and think things through, so I have to put a Kibo on it before it just gets out of control, and so when I was... So my mom is an Anthropology professor, and when my sister and I were little, my mom used to use anecdotes about us sometimes in her lectures to demonstrate certain things because kids are such great examples of before cultural norms have kicked in. What do your kids say? And I remember... And I didn't mind she started doing it, I think before we were young enough to consent, but also this was just talking to a group of people and never using our names or anything and just telling stories, but then when we were a little older, I think both my sister, I thought it was kind of cool 'cause college kids are cool and they know who we are, and one time I had a substitute... No. Who was it? I don't know, I ran into someone when I was in high school who was in college, so it was a little bit older than me, so it was like a teaching... So something... Yeah, and I said something about my mom being an anthropology professor and my last name, not my pen name, but my real last name is pretty recognizable, and...
0:31:32.8 S1: So this person was like, Oh my God, I just put it together. I know you... You're the kid who liked her is not on your mom, and I was like, I realized that my mom still told these stories of us and he has even though now we were teenagers and I didn't care, it's not super embarrassing to wife not on your mom when you're like a two-year-old, you know. But I have a super private person, it's one of the reasons that I use a pen name, and I didn't even show my space on social media until a few years ago, for the first several years of being a stone went to rare. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. It's basically your fault. So, but I was just like, do it.
0:32:17.8 S2: It's what you did in a wanted to take pictures with you, and you were like, How do I do this and keep my face off of one.
0:32:25.6 S1: And I feel like you gave me such loving, supportive words of what benefit it could have, and I really took the the heart... And I started doing it, but I really clumped that for a long time, and that was like when I was in my 30s, I was still not wanting... Because once you do it, you can't go back, once there is a single Kikuyu, a recognizable picture of you on the internet, you can never get it back, so that is a choice that is like... You can never change your mind about... And I feel like... Anyway, yeah, so I didn't care that my mom had told the story about me with not on her, but if it had been a picture, I think I would have felt differently like if someone could have posted a picture of me on Facebook in my current state and then a picture of me like ask out in a playground, like wiping my Not on something or it would have been not mortified, 'cause I think there's anything wrong with that behavior, but mortified because I do not actually want people in my graduating class as a high school student to see that or like, I never had personal social media when I was in grad school, because also I didn't want my students to be able to have that, and I think it's so short-sighted to not understand that when you make choices for other people that they can't take back, you are taking away from them the right to make that choice for themselves, and I just think that that is something that like all parents and people who have access to children in any way to think about, not because you're being a monster being terrible, but because that child is an informed person who hasn't had a chance yet to construct the view of themselves that they want world to see, and if you do that for them, you're taking away their opportunity to construct that for themselves from scratch, and I think that sucks, and I think everyone should have the right to construct their own version of who they are and...
0:34:22.8 S1: Yeah, so I feel like that's... The real issue for me is not the, should you, shouldn't you? What's the real danger? I think those things are all true, but I guess that, yeah, it's a consent issue, and I value so much my ability to construct my own sense of who I am as a person and put that out there, that if someone takes that away, I think it's... I think it's unfortunate.
0:34:45.2 S2: There's something about our society and children where people feel like they deserve access to a cute kid or pregnant mom rubbing the belly without permission, that kind of stuff, like... Oh my God, and you see it a lot with celebrities, when celebrities have kids and they don't wanna show those kids the way that the media and their fans treat them as if they're horrible people for not... Sure. Share... Sharing pictures of their kids or covering there, I remember back in the day, Michael Jackson, he's to cover the face back with the blanket and stuff, and the weather so weird, he's so creepy, so it's like he's just protecting his child Beyonce to the same thing to protecting your child... And people get really... They have the sense of ownership of children that they see and think they think they're adorable or cut... But that's great. I didn't mean you have to interact or take a photo or share or do whatever... It's warranted.
0:35:34.6 S1: Yeah, I feel the same way about people who sort of take pictures of strangers and post them on the internet as if whatever you happen to have a view of through your eyes, both when you can do whatever you want with it, would seem like no thought, but that is a real person who, because of the power of the Internet, people will attach a name to that person so quickly, and then that's in their world.
0:35:56.8 S2: It's like the live meeting of a couple was a couple of months ago, and paying somebody live tenth conversation, like a meet cute between the people in the aisle behind them, and we were... Romandie kinda went, Oh my gosh. It's so sweet. And I was like, Yeah, that's really sweet, but also really creepy you your life to a teleporter talking. And I think one of them was like, That's my life. Why are you doing this? Yeah, the internet is...
0:36:24.1 S1: I think that's an astute got at least somewhat. Is starting to change. Yeah, I think we are as a society coming at least a little bit more cognizant.
0:36:35.8 S2: I think the pandemic has something to do with hat, 'cause we were all living via social media for almost a year...
0:36:42.6 S1: I could do it too. Alright, you guys, I'm a mean to talk about this fun little podcast thing that we do here at Ross, one started... I don't know why I was in... We started in August. I have been getting a line, I have no idea... You would tell me it was, I guess I would believe you... Our first episode was February 11th. It, your February 11th. And let's see, I'm going through right now, if you guys go to door romance writer and click on episodes, you can see, click on any episode you may have missed and be able to re-listen to it, but some of the guests that we've had were Becerra from buzzing about romance. Kelly Reynolds from boobies and movies. We had Sarah McLain, we had Angela and local hever. Let's see who else. Marlene serial, Dr. Robin came along, 'cause we had both of Christina Lauren, we had Christina amino sweet Christina Lauren. Let's see, I'm just scrolling through. We had NPS, Albert, let's see, Gabriel Miller, and Andre Carlin and Scarlet Cole, and we just recently... Last week had Penny red, we have had a lot of our life. Yeah, people stop by, which is pretty amazing.
0:38:27.8 S2: And thank you again to everybody who has been here with us because we... You taking a chance on this fledgling podcast.
0:38:36.4 S1: Absolutely, and we appreciate the fact that you guys sort of followed along with us as we went from a twice a month episode two monthly or monthly weekly... I'm sorry, I've been not drinking today, at least it, but going to the weekly podcast, that has been pretty amazing too, so I wanna know, are there letters or guests or discussions that stick out to you guys, man, from the past year...
0:39:04.6 S2: I mean, the one we just had with Penny, that was amazing, I think are having or here on the day with that particular topic and letter that we got was like... The universe was like, Here you go. Here's this gift, and having my old one here was pretty surreal, I was like, You didn't say much of the whole episodes like... 'cause you know, when you were with family, you kind of was like... You turn into the 12-year-old again. I think I've turned it to one, like I just...
0:39:35.8 S1: I anticipate it. Rabinowit funny. Yeah, I feel like my favorite episodes were the ones where we didn't even realize how well the guest was gonna match up with the letter, which is what... With REI, feel like Sarah McLean. Also, there was a Synchrotron a couple of times, and what was so fun about that was like we would read the letter and then the guests would be like, Wait, did you pick this because you do that easiest thinking about BB. And we were like eating, that was a lot like, that is about you. So we didn't choose it for that reason, and then they're like, No, literally, this letter is about my life, but I just feel like certain synchronicity s like that they just happen in a ways and I have loved that and I'm really looking forward to that going forward that there will be letters that are perfect for certain guests that we'll have and maybe they'll just find each other.
0:40:37.7 S2: But we forgot acres had across the time of this recording, it hasn't aired yet, so that's not on the teeth she was at... Yeah, no, you're right. We have some sort of like podcast series or something that keep matching is a whole rendered guests for next season. She just put it out there. I really wanna get to is to HomeWorld be great.
0:41:05.8 S1: Chris and
0:41:06.6 S2: Higgins, we've been dancing around having her on, so we'll have to definitely make that happen easy to...
0:41:14.1 S1: Well, we already know some of the guests that are coming along that we're gonna have on, so... Yeah, I don't know if we should share not, but pretty awesome. I would... She's like, one little gas.
0:41:29.0 S2: Yeah, go for it.
0:41:30.3 S1: Alright, you could take one. You do it are. We're gonna have the fabulous gen proto guys. Yeah, she's wonderful, she is super kind of generous with offering advice, number one, and she's got great writing books that also are fabulous for some great writing-related and life-related advice, writing naked, I thought it was just a fabulous book. I highly recommend that one. That's one of my shading.
0:42:05.8 S2: I would love to have Kennedy Ryan join us. Can any would be amazing if she can find a minute to squeeze into her amazing schedule, so if you're listening, kaname want you on to... Do think so.
0:42:18.8 S1: I would love to get like...
0:42:21.4 S2: We've had a couple of people who were not authors, Gabriel Miller, we had Dr. Robin, I would love to get a narrator or a model or something, somebody who's like I... Just on the fringe of it. Yeah, that would be kind of cool to a
0:42:41.3 S1: Totally that... Yeah, I would also get authors from other genres to fun to have... I love having creative people, so fun to come from a common place, so I'd love to get some offers from other genres besides romance, maybe some film folks or musicians, yet
0:43:01.2 S2: About a one coming on. So somebody to come on, I'll let you know a musician, a singer, Conwell, if everyone
0:43:14.7 S1: On... When you work in a creative field, especially I think writing books and the types of books that we write, that is one of the things when we were planning this podcast and thinking about things that we could do is the fact that we are obsessed with motivation and we are obsessed with why people do what they do, and then consequences of people doing what they do and what happens when they do the Pro-Duo thing, so... Yeah, so I think that is a great fit with anybody in those creative fields in dealing with motivations and emotions and the baggage that we carry around with ourselves, and that's just a huge thing. So yeah, I do to know from listeners who
0:43:59.0 S2: The Tias gonna say... Send us DMs, write us. Yeah, tell us who you'd love to hear on the show.
0:44:06.1 S1: Most question in our stories and on my stories that A... That would be good.
0:44:10.9 S2: Awesome. We should do like a one where we go get a letter writer to come on to the show.
0:44:17.0 S1: So that would be fun. Well, you know, one of my favorite podcasts that I listen to, they actually have reader selections and the readers will send in... They have a list of topics and readers will send in and vote for them and say, Hey, I like this one, and here it's a crime, it's a true crime, and so here's a crime that ties into this that you could highlight and blah, blah, blah. And that's how they pick some of their episodes, which is really fun, that's questions. If you see a great, am I the asshole.
0:44:55.2 S2: Send it into endotoxin you want us to discuss. It doesn't have to be a personal problem, and if there's a topic you asked to discuss... Yeah, this is your podcast here.
0:45:07.2 S1: Whatever, it's our... Alright, so we are all on to 20-22, which is freaky, and we are planning to stick with the format we've got right now for you guys, we're planning on sticking to continually having guests and to... Although we do love our episodes when it's just us, and then also being able to post weekly episodes as well, so more of the same funder, not... It would really help us in our goals is if you would send us more letters, senior letters when you... Letting your letters, so that's with other people's business, we know you guys know other people, pestis is why I am so... It is rude that you're not writing a letter, and I'm gonna tell you why it...
0:46:07.6 S2: You tell them, roommate them.
0:46:10.1 S1: You know the little bitches or opens business, I know you are in over Twitter with it. I see you on Instagram, I see you a burner account or whatever, I know, I know you got dirt and you are refusing to put that dirt into elector... Anonymous letter anonymously. Your co-worker is a piece of shit. I wanna hear about it. You don't have to use names. Your mother, I write to me about it. I was gonna do a... What are you doing that is so important that you are not ready as letters... Yeah, we are here to pass judgement to hereditary.
0:46:56.9 S2: No, it's been really cool and it's been awesome to do it with you guys because we are so similar but not the same, our personality is much really well together, but we are so vastly different. Ron and I click on some things, and average click on other things, and you guys click in, but it's like, Bring three different perspectives, which is really cool. It's been fun.
0:47:18.9 S1: It's true, and I really actually love the letters where we all disagree... Yeah, introvert reminder that even you can be of steps on others, we're all my God, all these things that we overlap on and we can still just violently disagree about certain things, and then we're like, I love you, you... But you couldn't be more wrong. And is why when you are... You give us a World Peace next. We've got it
0:47:52.1 S2: Now, but we're really looking forward to 2022. Lots of really cool stuff coming up and... Yeah, so write to us, you have a little bit break now, you come up with all your Missouri stuff and put them, put them a little list and send it to us and give us some stuff to talk about on entertain you in ourselves.
0:48:12.8 S1: Yes, because we will not be back in to help January 13...
0:48:16.6 S2: January 13th is our next Eid. Yeah, we'll be back. So thank you, thank you, thank you for being with us. For our first season of DER romance writer, we would not be here without you. We look forward to hanging out with you in season two, we'll be back with a new episode, like we said on January 13th, until then, remember to send us to your questions, your topics, your pet peeves, whatever it is, we cannot wait to give you our questionable advice. From your trio of happily ever after enthusiast until then, happy new year, Mary crispa hooligan, all the good things. And we will see you in 20-22, so, so scary. I'll see you next year.
0:48:57.7 S1: Alright, happy New Year all. Thank you so much for subscribing to Dear romance writer. Remember to keep sending in those letters in dermatitis dot com, we can't wait to tell you what to do. Your romance writer is part of the frolic Podcast Network. Find more podcasts you love, framed, podcast.