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0:00:00.9 S1: Welcome to Dear Romance Writer, your home or questionable advice to the bewildered and the funnel, random Popolo recommendations and conversations about You e-links. Be sure to send in your letters seeking advice on our anonymous form at Dear romance writer dot-com.


0:00:20.7 S2: Dear romance writer is part of the frolic Podcast Network, a podcast community of everything romance and romance-related, if you're into romance fiction of any flavor, the product Podcast Network include shows that future book club style discussions, author interviews, comedy critique, and fantastic conversations as well. Include some of the most innovative, interesting and entertaining podcasts including kidding, crappy friends, my imaginary friends, smart podcast, trashy books, and Jeff and wheels big gay fiction podcast. What does this mean for you blister? More shows to enjoy and more opportunities for us to introduce you to great episodes and new podcasts you love if I new shows to add to your podcast subscriptions at framed podcasts. Now, on to this week's show. So welcome to another episode of DER romance writer. We're really glad that you could join us again, we are recording this in middle July, and now I don't know about you guys, but the weather has been super weird, did you get chilly night? It's really hot days, and then that heat way... I don't know, we're all on the east coast. It's been really, it's been 400 degrees. An my portions cranking. Yeah, coming together and chilling out with you guys and reading through some of our letter, so we got a letter this week and from Bala who's reading the letter...


0:01:59.5 S1: Must read the letter. Yeah, real quick before we do that, we should do interest...


0:02:03.5 S2: Oh, oh yes, of course, I'm zero, sorry. I'm


0:02:07.0 S1: A very flat and I wrote Parris and I will be reading our letter from viola. Hello, I adore reading romance and I recently over the last two years, got into writing Romans, now the last was using where I am the UK, I've started dating again. I haven't done much dating in the past, and I'm in my 20s, the lower end for context, and I'd had one longer term relationship prior to now, so I've not had to do much dating per se, romance novels and writing are huge chunks of my life and I only see them getting more important as I eventually pursue publication in some form, but how should I bring romance novels and writing romance up on dates, dating apps. How have you navigated this in the past? Currently, what I love to read and write is that I love to read and write is in my dating bio, and it ended up talking about romance with people in DMs, I do wonder if I should just be totally forward and shoving my bio in a dream scenario I'd say I write and read romance and the person wouldn't assume anything in particular would ask some questions, but also Google search when they got home, pansexual plus retracts, romance equals sex, crazed is a judgment that people...


0:03:18.0 S1: Well, let's be honest, men have been making and it's infuriating on many layers at the same data East, I know what type of person they are and can not match, I don't wanna send to people who don't respect me, I wanna treat this like any other hobby, like all the things I do and enjoy, but I'm having to give romance 1 1 courses. The thing that comes out of poems, I feel like I need to come up with some kind of game plan because it's all new to romance and coming with a side of judgment even when people do mean well, any tips... Many thanks in advance for any help you can give me, I adore the show


0:03:52.9 S2: I... Oh my God, welcome to being a romance reader or writer.


0:03:59.9 S1: Because I think I can very easily say this has happened to y'all too, very intrusive sex questions as a writer, do you do everything that's in your books, whether you do or not.


0:04:15.6 S2: Do I have...


0:04:16.8 S1: Oh yeah.


0:04:18.0 S2: I have gotten asked, Hey, can I help with research table? If you need research, I've gotten that one sort of creepy shit. We are gonna take a really quick break in this episode of Dear romance writer, to let you know that this specific episode is brought to you by Kensington newest title from shares Hodges open your heart. It is a body guard romance, romantic expense. It is quick. It is fast-paced. I picked it up the other day while I... So grocery shopping, because the other thing is, this cover is super hot, so I'm just gonna let you guys know it, the dude is giving very good face. So let me tell you a little bit about this one. For a fashion boutique, owner, Yolande Richardson, coming home as a matter of life and death, witnessed to a brutal crime, she's terrified to put her family's band B in the crosshairs after she starts receiving death threats, her only refuge is the protection of her reserve hired body guard Charles Morse, but Charles is anything but safe. His ICC under fire and in intensity is to exploit for Yolanda to resist, for Charles love always equal sauce.


0:05:40.0 S2: He knows that heart equation all too well, controlling his emotions keeps his clients from harm in his heart, safe. Yolanda median had strong spirit, have him wanting her in all kinds of ways, but for her own protection, he has to do his best to keep her arms length until unexpected danger and Lisa misunderstandings but their survival and any chance at a future together on a nice edge oh


0:06:06.2 S1: Yeah.


0:06:06.7 S2: You know, that sounds good. You can find open your heart by shares Hodges wherever books are sold. And you can find out more at Ken in 10, B dot C. So that's number one. And then there are the people that just think, you're done. So that's number two. But yeah, there are outside of our little Romania and even some corners of Romans, that's very true, that it's very, very true. People forget boundaries and make really horrible assumptions, so there is package that comes with putting that out there. I'm not even gonna lie. I kind of like the idea of putting it in your bio because it would be to the eyes, you don't wanna be like, Hey, this person sounds really cool, and then you get on a date and you're having a good time, and then you bring this up and they're like, they say something, that's just a waste of your time. So I feel like putting it in your bio is actually a good thing you...


0:07:27.2 S1: I totally agree. I am... The last time that I did online dating, every time I was on online dating, it's been an absolute misery, but the most recent, and was when I was living in New Orleans and I had just started publishing romance, and I did put it... I started out in my bio saying that I was a writer, and then people would ask what to write and in a message and I would say romance, and based on those responses, I started putting it in my bio for exactly that reason to move out the idiots I think that obviously, I am not a scientist, but I...


0:08:11.1 S2: But she's written them. So it's a thing.


0:08:14.6 S1: But I am a doc, and I think that I can say with 999% certainty that anyone who would be an asshole about you writing romance, even if then you went to all the trouble of educating them would still be an asshole after that even if they weren't being asked about that particular thing, and from a retiree that there's no reason not to put it in your bio, especially because I think this does your pain, is that... Yeah, I think that, as you said, that is gonna be mainly an issue, like the creepy stuff will be mainly an issue with cis men, and the thinking that your dumb probably could be an across the board issue, but again, I need those people... Right at the scenario.


0:09:10.3 S2: You're not missing anything, meaning those lowland the dump thing, you can also quite possibly be a factor of the fact I live outside of DC, so people here have important jobs, not that people don't have important jobs, other passion in us that there's a snobby factor is a Sativa and people are like, Oh, do it romance because it's easier. I'm like, Yeah. It's something really easy to


0:09:41.4 S1: Do. You know what, I also.


0:09:45.1 S2: I wanna bring out the... 'cause Viola says that now she feels like she's having to give romance 101 courses, I think as a citizen romance, and sometimes we are extra defensive because we're so used to being mocked, so we may come into it with a defensive bias and not realize that sometimes people really are historically here. They're generally, so if you had, I'm... I enjoy rock climbing. Somebody trying to see, Hey, is our connection? We're starting to make a connection that may be the one thing that they focus on, say, Oh, tell me about real climbing. I don't know anything about it. Can do that around here. Do you have super crazy strong fingers? Do you not... Are you not allowed to have finger nails 'cause when they break off... What is the thing... So it could also with the romance, but a one part be at least partially that it's people trying to engage you on something that you're obviously open to talking about...


0:10:56.0 S1: Yeah, which doesn't mean that you have to like it or wanna do it. I think that... And I trust that you know the difference between someone who is genuinely just a little bit by looking for something to talk about, which I agree is completely reasonable, and the people who are asking questions with the huge scare quotes around them, which are meant to imply that you're an idiot. Yeah, it must... That you know the difference. And if someone is gonna do that, so I'm like, Don't... Fuck him. Yeah.


0:11:24.3 S2: Don futbol Tel. And if it were me, I would actually say something in my bio that's properly putting off the people who would come into you saying shit about romance. I don't know how I would say it, but I would write a bio that made it clear that I'm not going to take any ridiculous is from you because I write romance. So if this is you, I'm not that way. Deventer, clicking on my... You know what I mean?


0:11:58.0 S1: Just if it was the only... That you were reading romance, I think that is super reasonable. Anyway, but the... You're also writing romance and that... You're planning on publishing. I think that most of us, after we've been doing this for a couple of years, we don't even remember that what we're writing is romance anymore, obviously we do when we're writing it, but it's one and it's a craft, and it's like if you were to overhear a conversation of a bunch of authors who happened to write romance, talking to one another about what their day is like, or Wallace, what you would hear is a conversation about the publishing industry, about Contracts, about schedules, about dedication, about craft... About work-life balance, all of those things, you know what?


0:12:44.0 S2: I will grow with you, but I have to interrupt just because there are things that are unique to our... I post a trot on Twitter today because I found out that kangaroos penises were actually behind their score, and I was like, This is something that shift or Roman land needs to know about in case you don't... Because this would... Could factor it.


0:13:03.7 S1: Right? So there are rebut, it's all a business. But my point is that if what people are focusing on is the micro-telethon of the fact that the thing that you are passionate about and spending all your time doing happens to have sex in it or happens to be about love, they're missing like the 98% of it, that is about all these other things that would be the same if you were writing Safi or minister formative and when that... Okay, maybe on the first day or the first couple of days or whatever, but if this is gonna be your life and it's gonna be something that you continue to do, especially as a writer, I can tell you right now, it gets old extremely fast to have the thing that you spend a lot of time thinking about, not just the work itself, but also educating yourself about business, educating yourself about contract negotiation, all these I'm packing purposely dry things, because those are half a... It will get old, very stress to have to come home at the end of your day and have spent six hours writing and negotiating a contract and finding out that you're far and right.


0:14:19.8 S1: Spell through and all the stuff that's part of your job and having a person be like, Ha-ha, these get the alert to here, and if you compare of that from the very beginning, but


0:14:32.8 S2: The earlier the better, like you never even have to know that they exist because they see that in your Bio and they just move on, it will never affect you, you're not gonna miss the love of your life because you...


0:14:46.2 S1: Yes, our advice then is put it in your bio.


0:14:50.5 S2: Keep it in your role, your bio.


0:14:52.6 S1: And use it as a...


0:14:55.6 S2: What the word I'm looking for? You're using... It is not a filter.


0:14:59.5 S1: Thank you.


0:14:59.9 S2: I only got offense, that's where my brain is gone today.


0:15:03.2 S1: But you're using it as a fence, you're keeping the principles out. Plus, you never know, even if you don't end up with somebody who is a romantic partner, that would be awesome to find book friends that way. Not in a lot. Absolutely, well, and I think that's the thing about putting it in your bio as a hobby, like you say in the letter, you just wanna treat it like any other hobbies, then you're gonna attract either people who are like, cool, this person, I might go out on a date with has a hobby just like I do, or you'll attract cool bookish friends or go bad on date with someone, realize that you both love Romans, don't have any chemistry yourselves, but it could be a cute thing, we try to have romance and it failed, but now were romance reading buddies or whatever, or were co-authors and we've had a... Yeah, I agree.


0:15:52.8 S2: And I think discuss stuff will still come forward anyway, but you're online dating, you're gonna get that anyway, I mean, I cohesion, like with the people who disrespect you... Seriously? Yes, and isn't it the great John Waters quote that is, If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them. So again, same thing. We agree, we agree. Alright, so we have or or what would you do segment a very click baby headline that immediately grabbed my attention because I'm a 12-year-old, and it is how... The headline is how to tell my mom her boyfriend asked me to have his baby... A 24-year-old female live with my mom, 47-year-old female and her boyfriend, 54-year-old male, my sister and my son and roommate, all the adults pay rent, so I technically a tenant. Man, my mom, boyfriend, have a cool relationship. My mom is absolutely a narcissist, and the other day was a really bad day with her, so her boyfriend came up to me and was like, wanna sneak out and go drink later, so I was like, Yeah, absolutely. I've known him for five years and consider him like an uncle figure, we went out and drink and he kept pushing me to drink when it comes to drinking, I have very weak stomach, so I can't...


0:17:23.9 S2: Rematch, two opinion Coates and I'm drunk. So I'm on our way back home and he's asked me, So don't you want more kids... I'm a teen mom, I had my son at 15 and pregnancy was absolute health, so it was born off any more kids? And I told him No. Then he said, Well, I want more kids and started making advances on me about having his baby... Oh, you won't have to pay for it. You can follow your dreams. I'll take care of the baby. You don't have to buy anything for it, etcetera, etcetera. I kept telling him No, and he wouldn't back off, he kept saying, we can go to a hotel right now, we can go to your room when I come back, and then he started touching me, not like anywhere private, but he was squeezing my upper side and holding my hat, we left at 90 and came back around 12. When we got back, I immediately went to my room, I called my friend's husband, our friend group isn't weird about that stuff, if we need something, we can call the person, Significant other. So my friend and her husband came to pick me up an hour way 130 in the morning, I was able to sneak out with my son and some clothes for a couple of days, when my mom called and asked where I was, I told her, my friend had a family emergency.


0:18:36.4 S2: And needed me, this happened Friday night going into Saturday. I don't know if I was sexually assaulted or if he dress crossed a boundary, I'm afraid to tell my mom 'cause I know she's gonna make it about her and probably not believe me. She is a history, I'm always putting men before me and my sister, I don't want to go back, but I don't know where to go 'cause I don't have any where... I need help, please. How do I tell her? So that goes from like a crazy click-ready headline to something quite frankly hardworking. Yeah, I'm really, really, really, really, really glad you left when she did, because resources, he could have in the morning, she could have got woken up in the morning too. I heard you tried to seduce my husband, or I heard it, or my boyfriend or whatever, and it would have been a really ugly situation off the bat, so I'm glad that she got out. I don't... I know so many people like this woman, her mom, I don't know what the relationship is between her and her mom, she talks about the ration ship to her and her boyfriend, her mom's boyfriend, she talked about the relationship between her and her friends, so...


0:19:51.8 S2: But she doesn't talk much about the relationship between her and her mom, except to her mom is a narcissist and makes everything about her, which tells me that it's not great, so I don't know if there's a way to say anything to her that's not going to turn into an incident, I just... She doesn't sound like she's open to the truth, so I don't know how you do, but the problem here is that she has no where to go, obviously she can't stay with her friends, I definitely... So something... She's gonna say something, but I don't even know. What do you say? In that situation, yeah.


0:20:25.4 S1: I'm with you. And my experience with narcissists is that she won't believe you, or even if she believes you deep down, she will act like she believes, she will make all about herself I come to fill in. But also, probably it'd be great for her to know that this happened so she can make her own choices. And so I feel like to answer the first question, which purportedly is the actual question of How do I tell my mom is... I would write down exactly what happens and I would email it to her, and that way you don't have to have a conversation where she can interrupt you before you finish everything that happens, she has a record of what happens so that if when she first reads it she's not able to deal with the Eastern she... And then later, if there are things about the relationship that she wonders about, she has it, she could go back to it, so that you've done everything you can to protect her and telling her the truth, but I feel like there's no way that it's gonna be like a good conversation or it's gonna go well, I would...


0:21:36.9 S1: In fact, actually, I don't even have that be our... Because it's not gonna happen. Not with an artist. And yeah, so to me, the real question is, I agree with to where to go, and it's so infuriating to me like forever and ever amen that these fucking asshole men sexually as well and proposition there step-daughters and then it's the step-daughter who doesn't have a place to go, and he has no consequence, what's whatever, and gets to continue living his life as if he didn't just slide his hand up to the upper side, this fucking daughter and asked if she wants him to impregnate her in a hotel room. That is so outrageous. Heat's up to you if you decide that that counted a sexual is... I don't think it matters necessarily. Only you get to decide if that's what that feels like to you, but what you've described is someone capitalizing on the mental health problems of their own partner and the way that they make you feel vulnerable and overwhelmed to get you to go out with him a meditated pretty.


0:22:49.0 S2: That's what's sticking out to me, this was crane tried to make her vulnerable...


0:22:54.0 S1: Yeah, he took every morobe answer support system away from you in a moment when you are already vulnerable because of the personality disorder of another person who you should be able to depend on, and then once you were drunk, he touched you without your consent, even though you tried to move away from him and said, No, over and over and over. And use sexually explicit language, asking you to have sex with him and have his baby anyway, you slice it... That's fucking horrible. And the idea that you're not the one who has to leave and take care of it is so unfair and so infuriating, and I'm really sorry, and you go in somewhere else to live. Yeah, to quote the great legal bar.


0:23:42.0 S2: Also curating your girl, you're in danger girl. Kudos to her friends though, who drove an hour to pick her up in the middle of the night... Those are some good friends. Those are some great friends, I think... Yes, I think we both kinda came to... Into it.


0:23:58.3 S1: I agree.


0:23:58.9 S2: I also, I like the emailing letter form of communication with somebody, especially when you know that that person is not going to... Whether they're a narcissist or not, you're in a situation where the person is not gonna hear you, there are a lot of instances, even when it's a parent who is not a narcissist, who is going to value their relationship with another adult with their partner over the basic needs of the other people and their family. I'm not saying that your relationship with your spouse or your partner should not in a hierarchy level, outrage other relationships, but when you are willing to have a relationship that is more important than the basic human value of another human being, that's an issue. And unfortunately, that happens sometimes it happens because people are in a situation where Bob pays half the rent, and if Bob didn't pay half the rent, I couldn't live here, none of us could live here, or the error... Whatever it is, you know, there are circumstances, but with this one, he has gone to the point where he knows her light weight took you out and got you drunk anyway, waited until you were drunk to proposition you when you were away from home.


0:25:22.3 S2: I'm assuming you guys drove together, so you had little recourse to get back to a safe zone, all of that. So this is a one... It's a totally different way. That whole situation could have gone a totally different way... Totally different way as I was writing, I was like, Please, please, please, please, please. I go, or I think this is going. So you are... This is somebody who went predatory. Yeah, sure, quite frankly. So this is not a safe spot for you anymore, if you cannot afford another place, if you cannot stay with friends for a week or whatever it is that it takes you to find a place... You know, depending on what your thing is. Strongly suggest you look into women's shelters, a lot of times people look at a women's shelter and they fire us only for victims of domestic violence, that is often who they have, but it's not only who they have to look at some of the women's shelters, at least reach out, even if it says a domestic violence shelter, reach out, let them know your situation, things like that, because a lot of times with those shelters, goal is to not just give you a temporary safety spot, but also to move you...


0:26:39.3 S2: Help you get on your feet is resources, resources, resources. So this would be a good option to it something like that year area, she said she has a taser, kid is like... So she's in a mini... Somewhere around there. Yeah.


0:26:57.9 S1: That's a great suggestion. Like this person has made your domestic space on safe for you house percent. You're saying that it's a friend, like a roommate and your sister... Right. Are also there, as you said no to him, where is he gonna turn next... Get your sister, get that other roommate, tell them what happens, because they should know for their own safety, and then the three of you should leave and you should get a place together because three of you could afford a place fingers crossed here than just you on your own, and that's something that is elitist, is predatory and is looking for something like that, and if he asked you... I even think there's actually a good chance he already asked the roommate because if he's going to his step-daughter, if that's his first choice, I'm just... Oh yeah, I think...


0:27:59.2 S2: I also wonder if the sisters under age, because she says something about all the adults paying rent and her being... She's 24. Yeah, this whole situation. It was a nightmare. Yeah, and you're... Let's see, okay, so she's known him for five years, so I'm gonna assume that that's how long he's been dating the Moms, this is not a new occurrence, you know what I mean, to where... Okay, they've only been dating for six months and he's just this weird loser guy and all that, so that she thinks knows her. Yeah, yeah, no.


0:28:35.5 S1: That is someone who's really crossing a line on what your previous relationship in... Atchison, I think this guy had been super creepy in the past, she would have said something about that has always been a little creepy, but it never quite crossed the line and the file... She doesn't say that and that she said she thinks it in as an uncle, like it could be that some behaviors are just now coming into focus, is what they really were, and then the extras, but it also could be like this incident, like this thing wanting a baby is the thing that he's willing to cross the line for, and I think we Ettore actually believe that though... I mean.


0:29:12.8 S2: I don't believe that. I think he's just trying to be... The interesting thing is that like ruins doesn't mention any previous behavior like this, and she also said something about her mom being unbearable that day and everyone sort of the... They were bonding over their... They're fed up with her, and so He's transferring the... He's like transfer, there's a lot of transference going on here, like what your mom is impossible, but you're older now, whatever, whatever it is, but it's just an ugly situation, it's just an over-situation, so this is not good, but again... And we've talked about it before. Here is somebody who is just trying to... I don't... She is worried about a... Yes, survival. I understand this, finding a place to live, right, but it's not about finding a new place, live, it's telling her mom so that she can stay in her current environment, which does not sound healthy, I was always gonna choose her this... She is still making excuses for a lot of people in this situation and trying to work out a way to make it acceptable as opposed to... Taking a step back and saying, this is not an acceptable situation, I have to figure out a way out of it.


0:30:34.0 S2: And I think that's really hard because we love to make excuses for people in our life for their bad behavior, and if she sees this or did see this person as more of an uncle or my mom's boyfriend, she'd be like, it's Bob, so I just... I gotta make an excuse for Bob, he didn't really mean it. And I think that growing up with a statistic mother, I'm not surprised that this is so... She puts everybody else first.


0:31:02.1 S1: Well, someone who's very used to having to rewrite reality in order to make it palatable for... And it's easy to then do that for yourself, and I think that, yeah, this is like whether this guy actually wants the baby or just went into thing her... Who knows? I don't really care, but I think if you had proposition, He will proposition your sister and your roommate, and if your mom is beyond being reached, then that's fine, and she can make her own choices, but I would get... I would have the three of you move out, find a place, get lucky from this guy, 'cause that's so nasty.


0:31:39.6 S2: Mean, she said something about her mom putting, always putting men before her, which tells me that maybe not this particular situation hasn't happened before, but she's definitely one... Yeah, it's happened before, and I love how you put that on. It's a rewriting reality to make it more palatable. I think that is something that is incredibly... It's a coping mechanism. It's a coping Mathis. And if you grow up with somebody who's manipulative, let alone a narcissist, then your boundaries don't matter, if you're in survival mode, you do whatever it takes to survive, if you don't have a choice of where to live or whatever, then you're done with you... Not


0:32:27.0 S1: Really, and if you don't have a choice, if there's no way that you can safely leave and go to a shelter or move out with your housemates, I would say, then know that that's your goal. Stay here for as long as you... The least amount of time, they actually need to to save up enough money that you can leave, and I would definitely still tell your sister


0:32:51.0 S2: And... Yeah, absolutely. So make a plan, Make a plan and have something so that way when you work in a cot in the moment, it's not as deer in the headlights in event, hopefully, lightly... Goodness, what thing? We... That's super cheery


0:33:18.8 S1: Unit.


0:33:20.2 S2: Sound is such a fun... A headline, it completely sucked me in, and then I read it and I went, Oh my God, as a Jerry Springer headline with... In real life, yeah, a Sanneh, thank you. Yes, I will take a look at what I have on the playlist, which was inspired by villa. The playlist has... Every day I write the book from Elvis Costello, Paperback writer from the Beatles, screenwriters blues from soul coughing, there's one van Prieta weekend on there, so I tried to have a little fun with it. So really a check out the playlist, and maybe you can use it to write to... You can be a little bit to this for you there, a personalized list, a personalized eliott.


0:34:13.6 S1: We'll speak of personalized things today's recommendation or Jay's recipe is directly for our very own every Flinders producing a lot of cucumbers, and to others of you may also be in this same predicament, I love a cucumber and keeper, and so I'm gonna just shoot you a couple of ideas for what to do with that on cucumbers. So number one is pickles, you buy that, it is kind of a big deal, but it really doesn't have to be... You can do a quick pickle that you don't even like, you don't have to do a canning bath or seal the cans, so that they can be self-table, you can just do them, put them in your fridge and they're totally fine. So you can just use any kind of a minivan, even vigor, if you had a jar pickles in the refrigerator and you ate the last pickle, you can save your pickle juice and just put cucumbers in it and pay... Absolutely, no.


0:35:22.9 S2: I love this.


0:35:25.2 S1: It's a no spend hack for you, and you can also put other stuff in there, I love to pick up Parisi in tile liquid, they're so good. You can pick all green beans and pickling liquid, and then you have diliman for a Bloody Mary or bloody Maria. That's what I serve them in New Orleans with DEEDS, and I love them so much. And you can also add to, say you eight or Aries, you at the last pickle and you have half, such a half a jar, Pickling with the left or not quite enough, you can add a lot of water and vinegar, you can add a little sugar, you can have whatever spices you want, some garlic, and the things that you put in your pickling liquid is the flavor of your pickle that you'll get... If you wanna do a quick pickle that you can use on sandwiches, you can slice your cucumbers into slices and just pop the slices directly into the pickling liquid, if you wanna do Spears, you cut him that way, or if you like little cucumbers, a little blow guys you can just pop them completely into the pickling mix that way...


0:36:31.7 S2: I've reused it. When we went up to Vermont, there was a... Just don't worry up there, that makes bourbon pickles and rum pickles and stuff like that, and so the spicy bourbon pickle liquid is when it was done, I was like, I wonder if I could just talk some stuff in there, and I did, and it was so good so I'm all about reusing the pictorial... I love that.


0:36:49.3 S1: Yeah, you could add just a bourbon to your CEO, if you have a little bit of white wine at the end of the night and you wanna switch to red or something, and you don't wanna just go let straight from the bottle 'cause your company... You can pop that in. You're picking Witwatersrand-ing to be classy at you, you know.


0:37:07.9 S2: A pickle with no vinegar is a Russian recipes, just salt and dill, and there's like a whole... There's a boiling process, but it's really quick and stuff, I have to get it from him, but yeah, it's really... 'cause he doesn't like vinegar, he doesn't like anything that has bearings


0:37:22.5 S1: Are such a great thing for a summer too, because it's like you don't have to do a whole batch process thing situation you would with JAM-making or anything, you can just like... If you have four pickles that need to come off the four cucumbers that need to come out of the garden, you can just make those into a jar, pickles poem in your fridge and then you're done. That's all I don't even need to it. Now, how long... Do they say that if you do that? How long do they say? Good. Yeah, in the fridge. A while. So


0:37:51.2 S2: We're talking like they could be hanging around like a month... Oh yeah, I can have a month depending on this thing, I think it depends on the process. I think vinegar probably add shuffle. I know that the salt pickles that he does, they last maybe a month, so you can tell me, you can tell me when they start to turn, but... Yeah, don't tell me I'm too precise to be at from food Pocono, of course.


0:38:13.0 S1: So what you wanna do is you wanna pop those pickles into the pickling, like say you're using the pickle juice already to the corn, and then leave the jala it on for 24 hours or something, and then you can taste one and if they're ready to use, you can start using them just like regular pickles that you would use, or if you want to pay a longer, you can just leave them in the fridge opened, but yeah, they'll get more pickled as you go, and the second that you... They won't go bad. They might get a little mushy, the dark pickles and your fridge, they're there for basically ever, ever. And if something smells bad, don't eat it, but you're not gonna get a good pace, so you won't...


0:38:57.6 S2: Yeah, it'll just look or have a mile texture. I am on board with all of this is... I hate making pickles. I can report back to the east a couple other things.


0:39:09.6 S1: We were talking before about cucumber salads, these are an amazing... Or cucumber salad. I keep saying piles, cucumber salad, there are tons of recipes out there, but anything with olive oil, vinegar, salt pepper, some garlic fresh herbs is gonna be delicious, you can also make a Beauce and Zika is so good on any sandwich, it's so good. One, if you like men or potatoes or anything like that, you can use it, you can mix it into potato salad and use it instead of Manas if you don't like that is... And spikes, so, so easy and you just create your cucumber on the smaller side of a box greater, mix the Pope cucumber and with Greek yogurt, a squeeze of lemon and salt and pepper, and you're good to go, then you can have any fresh herbs you want till...


0:40:10.8 S2: Alright, I have coconut recover and my fridge right now, it might make those two and just see what happens, I report back to the class, do it, it's just experimenting with cucumbers now...


0:40:22.8 S1: Absolutely on the other thing that I love to do is use a thing that people apparently used to take the skin off things... What do you call a peeler thing? Yeah, I don't know who would wash their time doing such things, but I mean, if you like... Like I said, like a cold case noodle is one of my favorite things to you in the summer is like rice noodles or so bands and you do a quick boil and then add some sesame oil, chilly, whatever, scallions, and you have a nice essay noodle, if you take your peeler and peel your cucumber part into ribbons, not the scenes, but the meat, you mix those like their noodles and with the noodles of yours, that sounds like such a good place that I... Kenyatta carrots, the covers weren't great because they're so crispy and as a really great Chris to your dish, and you can just do the noodles like while the rest of the meal is cooking it, folks it up at some veggies and gives it a really nice fresh somewhere feel. Thank you, I'll let you know what my garden produces in out... I'll warn you now that it looks like I'm a have a bunch of crap.


0:41:41.2 S2: I better not squash. So I'm really excited about that. I love it. So who else in my house


0:41:48.8 S1: Is... Oh, well, I will turn them with my favorite... Better or not, Scarabs when the time's right? There you go, I love it.


0:41:57.4 S2: I'm charmed already. I'm trying to do ready caricom. I was also charmed. And unlike last time, I will be giving a pro recommendation as opposed to an un-recommendations.


0:42:13.7 S1: I...


0:42:13.9 S2: Piaget writes a lot of sports romance, a lot of rom-com, erotica, sort of very, very sexy. Rom-coms basically is what she writes, and I fell into her, the girl answers, which is actually several years old. I think the first one came out in 2018. The book, the first one is called Mr. McKay, and I was working out listening to it, laughing my ass off, like I'm in the gym all by myself, and I adenomas was unable to stop myself, and so I basically went and benefit the whole series and just went ahead and got him on audio, so I could go back and forth between the two. So no matter what I could do what I was doing, but they're really fun, she has such a fun voice... It was exactly what I needed to read. Basically, I laughed. They are so hot. And I think sometimes if you enjoy senior books, more erotic books, they tend to be darker and more as... And maybe it's just my history, I mean, a lot of times when I want something really sexy, I end up getting something that's meds related and that's awesome. I enjoy those books, but to be able to have my love of rom-coms mixed in with the good smart I was...


0:43:52.4 S2: Yeah, I'm totally in levels. So I'm highly recommending... I'm reading the third book in the series right now, it's called Rockaway bride, and she is accidentally kidnapped by Rock are sort of sort of went on her own, but she's also a runaway bride at the time, and they're not going... They're on their way trading through Europe, and she just got a tattoo and it's just... It's really fun. Highly recommended. So Grant girl in the band or the girl band series. Cool, now I guess I have a book recommendation to... I had to look up the series 'cause I didn't know what the Syria was called, I wrecked the first book in the series A while back, the end game from early heart, and I think by the toss, by the time this airs, the second book will be out it's called The End Zone, but she sent me an Archibald. We did like you anymore, I blew through it. Seriously blue through it. But it is about the Atlanta... It's a football team, the Atlanta lightning. So there's no therapy like that, the first one was a US senator and a member of the Atlanta lightning who was in the closet, the second one, the end zone is...


0:45:10.1 S2: I love the best friend thing, so it's the best friends of these two, the two from the first, one is out and proud and gay, and the other one has never really explored a sexuality before it, he's demi romantic, and he's never been in love and he's got these feelings for this guy, and he doesn't understand why his feelings were guy, and also he's ever felt this way about anyone before, so he discovers all these things about the spectrum of romance and sexuality and it's so beautifully done. She's such a good writer in terms of like, it's hot and funny, but there's so much emotion and heart in it, and that's what I really love about her writing, I've been reading it for years, and I feel like she gets better with every book, and she really... Hit the nail on the head with the end game, and he just continues it with the end zone, so I think this series is probably my favorite of hers, so... Yeah, it's a really heavy... Good.


0:46:11.3 S1: Yeah, well, I will be the illiterate one who recommends the TV show this week, that accusation is... I've been seeing a lot lately, it's very surprising, and I still... You come to my house. Oh my gosh, I mean.


0:46:29.0 S2: I hate gross right now.


0:46:30.4 S1: I'm not really good at it. I'm trying... And I started watching this because I wanted something to clean to, and my girlfriend was like, Oh, I started watching the show and it's really funny, you should check it out, so I started watching it and then quickly I was like, Well, I can't possibly be distracted while they watched this, but why I clean and... 'cause it's so good. And that show is colchis on the form. A, you seen it every...


0:47:00.6 S2: I've not seen it, but I've heard so many good things about it.


0:47:04.0 S1: It's on my list. So good. It is. Okay, so our main character is a fat woman who is deep in a very not great sexual relationship with a man who does not treat her well, and the first episode I was kind of watching with my fingers tense because I was like, Please don't let this be another show where I get excited because it's got a fat main character and then it ends up just being kind of like the entire show fashion her the entire time, 'cause I've been burned before, but it's not... It's like a really beautiful, very nuanced look at her journey as a character, part of which is refusing to take less than she deserves because she always has, because as a bad person, that's what she's been taught, and she really has amazing character, it's an amazing growth character growth in all areas for professional creative relationships, self-love, friendships, whatever... Her best friend and housemate is a queer black woman from the UK, who has her own journey and story with romance and love and sex and work and everything, and the two of them had something that I feel like we don't see very often on a show that I really enjoyed is the two of them have a beautiful, loving, supportive friendship, and also there are moments when our main character who's white fucks up and her friend is like, I can't support you on this 'cause you fucked up, and like there's nothing I can do about it deal with your shit and get back to me, which I think is so refreshing, and there's just like...


0:49:05.7 S1: There's one episode with a pool party that's specifically for fat bodies, that is one of the most beautiful joyful episodes of TV that I've ever seen. It is about like a pool party that a friend of a friend throws that's for fat babes who wanna come and hang out, and our main character shows up in jeans because she's nervous and has to go the OR working afterwards, and basically... It's just so overwhelmed by the love and support and joy that she sees around her, that it changes her whole life, and I just like... I have one episode live three seasons, I have one episode left and I've had one episode left for days and days, 'cause I resonate... Best room of the best. It's really like... It's great, it has a trans character, it has some... Just an interesting weirdos. Anyway, I'll stop.


0:50:09.5 S2: I love that sound. Othered she just...


0:50:14.3 S1: It's any bright... Is it addresses? She just got nominated for an Emmy or shower... Well, good, I'm glad he...


0:50:28.5 S2: The me names are incredibly representative, just historical, This is circle that like... Oh my gosh.


0:50:36.7 S1: Can somebody explain down she... Orme was like, It's on the series, the funniest tweet from him, and it was like... It was basically like, Thanks for the love. Screw the haters. And I don't know either


0:50:56.1 S2: In, I started following him during the last administration, he is just a joy. He just does that, he has zero fucks to give, but yeah, but balcarres a Lovecraft country that got like 28 or something crazy nomination, I am so mad that that show didn't get renewed. I don't wanna go down this rabbit hole. We can do it for 30 seconds, but as... Notice that last year, all of these shows that have been around for a bit, or at properties that have been around for a bit sort of pivoted and did these black Centre... He's like black or African-American centered stories, Fargo, Watchman, Lovecraft, Lovecraft, country, and Fargo. I don't know what's going with that, but those two got canceled after that one season, and I'm like coincidence or I don't wanna go down that rabbit hole, but I'm just saying these are both finally quickly claimed a crater body's watching them, everybody's talking about them, and then all of a sudden there's no room for a second season... It was a bullshit. And it's bullshit. Yeah, well, I hope love care country. The second season ends up finding another... I don't know what their contractual agreements via the world are, how that works with TV, but I do that in is so good.


0:52:15.8 S2: It was so... So it was so written and acted in, to my God, I feel like the pandemic is being used by a lot of TV to cancel a lot of shows to probably... 'cause there are a lot of shows like highly watched, highly rated shows that are just getting asked, and I think it's either they don't wanna spend the money on production or whatever it is, but... Yeah.


0:52:37.0 S1: It seems like the set... I think part of the pandemic is like people are willing to watch anything because they were stuck at home and they were watching everything, and so some of these streaming places, in addition to being racist, ohba things where they're also doing a divestiture of anything that costs them money, because they're like, come cheap content, people who go to show to dog shows and our people EDP because they're stuck at home and they watched everything else, so why would we spend money to make quality content and it a disappointment. Well.


0:53:13.0 S2: And it becomes the... What they think will be a sure thing that... Because if people have more options, now we're only gonna go with what we assume will be a Trello publishing, so it works much in a similar way, and you as an industry and as the reader or consumer or watcher end up losing out because you lose some of the great quality that there is out there, it's a fine...


0:53:44.7 S1: Which they would just pause. The things like, Okay, you can't make a second season right now for... Just wait two years.


0:53:52.2 S2: It's like the European model, right? We've already gone from 24 episodes a season to 10 or 12 in some of the shows, why not do the Luther thing or Carlock, where they do a season when they can... When the actors are available and named up with like four or five episodes, they're a little bit longer, but they're already doing it, they're doing it with these limited series, Queen's campus was one of those, Hey, doing it, they just don't wanna... Yeah, but it just seemed to me like they were using... 'cause some shows like manifest, which I've never watched a single second of, but if you have a show that's got that kind of ratings and that kind of critical claim get cancelled and not picked up by another streaming service, that tells me that that's a production money that's How come anything really...


0:54:39.9 S1: Why can't we run the world...


0:54:41.5 S2: We would do a really good job at it. We


0:54:44.7 S1: Really put... I think we do a really good job in certain sectors, and then there are others that I am... There are some that I don't wanna touch like airplane and microscopic Sanitation to airplane a mission, you're the first year at all in your first... I am not qualified. But you know what, so I will tell you this, someone in romance lady's qualified for that, and I run the shit out of it, so men.


0:55:20.1 S2: I'll tell you this for free. Trains are better and less polluting, I haven't flow... If you know what we did that. A million years ago, when all three of my kids were very, very small and my husband got deployed. So we lived right outside of DC. I originally from Western rascal, three small children. My youngest was literally a very small baby, I think he was six months-ish, and we took the train all the way from DC out there, and I'm telling you right now, it was the most beautiful thing we got on... We did our thing, we had one of those over bets, the kids got to wander around, we walked the train, we did think it was... Abu was highly recommended to anyone with small to travel was really undervalued in this country, ever in... So anyway, we haven't really gone all over the place today, this is what happens when we don't have a guest, we are like... We aren't kept to the garden path. Well, thank you for coming in this Grandison version of your romance writer, where I still say that we can run the world with the exception of airplane emissions, and so we appreciate you guys hanging out with those, please do send in your lectures.


0:56:47.1 S2: Tell your friends, tell your mom to listen on in and you can listen to us again, where were you? Listen to podcasts as well as watch us on YouTube, and then you get to see our facial expressions as we say, this is all shit. So they go.


0:57:07.2 S1: Thanks guys. Thank you next time.


0:57:10.0 S2: Thank you so much for subscribing to Dear romance writer. Remember to keep something in those letters in dromore dot com. We can't wait to tell you what to do.


0:57:18.7 S1: Your romance writer is part of the frolic Podcast Network. Find more podcasts you love framed podcast.

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